home   journals   Reaching Today's Youth

ISSN 1091-4706

Volume 1 Issue 4
Building Respect and Responsibility


A note from Vice President Al Gore

I was recently thinking about the importance of making journeys. I remembered a few years ago Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers combined to produce a public television series on the power of myth. Among the things they tried to do was identify the elements of mythology that remained the same across different historical periods and different cultures. One of the common elements they uncovered was the notion of a hero’s journey. This idea is rendered somewhat differently each place it occurs, but its basic formula is the same: a hero makes a difficult journey not often attempted and returns a different, more complete, and more capable person.

The idea of a hero’s journey has endured for a long time. It is a prominent feature of some of our greatest works of literature. Perhaps the best known is Homer’s Odyssey. Odysseus spent 10 years fighting and winning the Trojan War—and then another 10 years struggling to get back home to Ithaca. An example closer to home is Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. Huck leaves his nominal home and lights out for the territory, eventually discovering his true home through his heroic act of rescuing Jim. Look at any literature from just about any era, and you will find a heroic journey.

You will find it in America’s modern mythology, distilled in its purest form in American movies. If you think back to the movies about education that have come out in the last several years, you will find many heroes’ journeys. The hero, usually a principal or a teacher, makes a journey to visit the family of a student. Jim Belushi in The Principal made a journey to a student’s home. Morgan Freeman in Lean on Me journeyed to a student’s home.

The central features of this journey are always similar. The teacher knocks on the front door, sits down with the parents, and the teacher’s eyes are opened to the condition in which the student is living his or her life. New lines of communication are developed. Contact is made with the parents. Following that hero’s journey, the relationship between teacher and student is transformed. And as a result, the teacher acquires a transformational power.

Just think about that scene from Dangerous Minds. The parents are surprised by Michelle Pfeiffer’s character’s visit, and assume she is the bearer of bad news about their son, Raul. Instead, she praises Raul, saying he is bright, funny, and articulate. He is even one of her favorites.

What the father says at the end of the scene is "Que milagro." What a miracle.

But this connection between school and home should not be a miracle. It should be commonplace. And the transformation that takes place in students, teachers, principals, and parents can become commonplace if we heal the relationship between the learning process and the family—a relationship built on mutual respect and responsibility.

These movies, based on true stories, have to be taken to the level of myth to highlight what we badly need to know: we must reconnect the classroom and the living room. But it should not take a hero’s journey for parents to connect with their child’s school. Nor should we expect every single teacher to take his or her own hero’s journey to the home of each student. To fashion the future, we cannot rely on solitary acts of heroism. We must make it the national norm—so that the extraordinary efforts of today become the ordinary practices of tomorrow. We have to reconnect teachers with parents and families with schools, a theme to be covered in the next issue of Reaching Today’s Youth. We need to make this entire relationship whole, because it is the wholeness of the "community circle" that is the source of transformational power.

Tipper and I have held a series of conversations, meetings, and dinner discussions in our home with leading thinkers in the field about these issues. They have taught us that a first-rate education begins with expectations that are sky-high and crystal-clear. And that goes for every student—regardless of his or her background or ability. In our best schools, every teacher and every principal demand high standards from every student and then make sure students meet them. No more social promotions.

These thinkers have taught us that first-rate schools educate the individual, not some imagined monolith of students. These schools have created personalized learning environments based on respect and responsibility—through technology, small schools, smaller classes for the early years, schools-within-schools, and mentors and tutors for children. Howard Gardner, Stanley Greenspan, and others have taught us that different people have different learning styles. It is especially important to focus on emotional cognition and the emotional lessons that come very early in life and form the basis for all subsequent learning. But parents often spend more time making sure their kids’ clothing fits properly than they do making sure their kids’ education is tailored correctly to the needs that individual child has. These new discoveries make it clear that the learning process is different in different children. We have got to take those learning styles into account—and not rely on a one-size-fits-all approach to our children’s education.

These thinkers have taught us that a first-rate education requires good teachers—and provides teachers the training they need. With proper training, teachers can harness the power of technology to help students achieve, keep classrooms disciplined, and work with parents.

These thinkers have taught us that first-rate schools and school systems shatter rigid bureaucracies and replace them with real flexibility. They allow parents, teachers, and principals to custom-make schools to help students meet high standards. And they offer real choices for students and their families—in the courses they take and even in the public schools they attend.

And, of course, these thinkers have reminded us that a first-rate education honors the elements of American public education that have been with us since our earliest days: citizenship, character education, and basic values such as respect, responsibility, honesty, and working well with others.

We know what it takes to teach our children. Now we have got to give parents and educators the tools to get the job done. For a long time in this country, many communities established and reinforced this connection on their own. If you skipped school and were wandering around the neighborhood, if your parents did not see you, your neighbor certainly would, as Jim Coiner’s neighbor did. (See Dr. Coiner’s article in the "Working with Today’s Families" issue—Volume 1, Issue 3— of Reaching Today’s Youth.)

James Coiner called this arrangement a "conspiracy of adults," because that is what it felt like to him when he was a boy. He was lucky. We need to recreate that conspiracy that web, that safety net—and make all our children feel like the adults in their lives are looking out for their best interests.

At the moment, we have got a ways to go. In a recent survey, one third of students said their parents had no idea how they were doing in school. Forty percent said their parents never attended school programs. We can do better than that. Schools need to make it easier for parents to get involved.

All of us must make it our journey—our nation’s journey— to reconnect America’s classrooms to America’s living rooms. There is so much we can do to revitalize our schools, invigorate even our most challenging students, and integrate parents into their children’s learning process. We can use new technology and our new understanding of learning to recreate that conspiracy of adults. And we can make those heroes’ journeys a little more mundane. By working together, we can make the journeys our parents and teachers undergo a little less daunting—the rhythm of everyday life rather than the stuff of myth.


Table of contents

BUILDING RESPECT AND RESPONSIBILITY

2 A Note from Vice President Al Gore / Al Gore

4 Back to the Future / Martin Henley

Respecting the Disrespected

6 Delivering Respect, Developing Responsibility / Sister Mary Rose McGeady

14 The Limits of Teaching Skills / Alfie Kohn

17 Maintaining Respect Under Fire / Linda Goulet

Climates of Respect and Models for Responsibility

21 Beyond Obedience: A Discipline Model for the Long Term / Richard L. Curwin & Allen N. Mendler

24 Points, Level Systems, and Teaching Responsibility / Martin Henley

30 Helping Families and Youth Lead Their Communities Out of Crisis:
The Mar Vista Family Center / Saundra Sparling, Deanna Cherry; & Ray Reisler

35 Defining Family Involvement / Jane Adams, Karen Gora, Barbara Huff Valerie Burrell-Muhammad, Minty Rivera, & Elaine Slaton

Building Respect and Responsibility through Practice

37 "Tough" Students Learn Respect and Responsibility from Earth’s Creatures / Linda Bell

40 Beyond Blame: A Lead Management Approach
William Glasser & Robert Wubbolding

43 Building Responsibility through Entrepreneurship and Service / Sylvia Rockwell

49 Promoting Social and Emotional Competence: The PATHS
Curriculum and the CASEL Network / Mark Greenberg

53 Meeting the Needs of Children and Youth with Challenging Behaviors:
Module 4 / Lyndal M. Bullock & Ann Fitzsimmons-Lovett

61 Building Responsibility through the Arts / Joe Young, Bill Messenger YA/YA


Editorial

Back to the future

Martin Hendley

As senior editors of Reaching Today’s Youth, we regularly collaborate with innovators and leaders in the field to expand the depth and insights we can offer to our readers. This issue is guest edited by one such innovator Dr. Martin Henley was first introduced to the National Educational Service by Dr Nicholas Long, but became better known to us as he authored the popular work Teaching Self-Control: A Curriculum for Responsible Behavior. The relationship and our appreciation of this author have grown as we have worked together with him to bring you this powerful issue of Reaching Today’s Youth.
             — Alan Meredith Blankstein and Lyndal Bullock

I began my career as a special educator during an exciting time of educational innovation. It was the early 1970s and the reform movement known as open education was reshaping the look and feel of public school classrooms. Invoking such phrases as "freedom to learn," open educators recharged the traditional curriculum by switching the responsibility for learning from the teacher to the student.

Along with many other counterculture movements of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, open education was a grassroots phenomenon. "Open classrooms" sprang up in public schools. Parents who wanted a more radical change in their youngsters’ educations set up alternative "free schools." Books by educational writers became best-sellers. In How Children Fail, John Holt presented myriad examples of how the lock-step traditional curriculum alienated students from their learning. In Lives of Children, George Dennison vividly described how teacher-student relationships based on honesty and trust could motivate even the most hard-pressed learners. In 36 Children, Herbert Kohl narrated the positive changes in the achievements of his Harlem sixth graders when he realigned the curriculum with their personal experiences.

As a young teacher, I was enthralled with the prospect of changing from a purveyor to a facilitator of learning. In my "open classroom," I discovered both the joy and the frustration of trying to coax responsible behavior out of youngsters who were far more adept at channeling their vast reservoirs of energy into resistance and fighting than into their schoolwork. I found the reality of promoting a democratic classroom atmosphere a lot harder than the slogans and books indicated. Many days I felt overwhelmed with the process of negotiating the bows and whys of reading, math, and behavior with my students. During the discouraging times I often cast an envious eye at my colleagues who were content to award stickers for worksheets completed.

My resolve was strengthened one rainy fall afternoon by Peter, a 12-year-old with a gift for succinct observation. We were discussing his upcoming progress report. I was urging Peter to evaluate his improvement in reading when he looked me dead in the eye and asked, "Why do you keep bothering me? It’s not my job to care about whether or not I learned anything, it’s yours — you’re the teacher!" I was stunned. It was my moment of truth, and I knew that my conversion to open education was complete. As time went by, I understood more clearly that teaching responsibility was a long, circuitous journey with many pitfalls, joys, and occasional glimpses into the souls of my students.

Within a few years, open education as a reform movement flamed out amid reports of chaotic classrooms and lack of standards. By the mid-seventies, the educational pendulum of reform had swung back to competency-based learning, behavioral objectives, and direct instruction. Yet my faith in student choice and decision making remained constant. I had seen too many significant changes in my students as a result of their open classroom experiences to doubt the power of respect and responsibility to beget respect and responsibility. I encouraged students to select their own reading materials and saw students with learning disabilities raise their reading comprehension to grade level. I watched my class work together to transform our classroom into an imitation town with streets, stores, a bank, and even a counseling service. I participated in a classroom discussion where students admonished others to tone down their behavior because, in Jimmy’s words, "we are a community and we’ve all got to get along."

So 25 years later, I am writing an introduction to a group of articles that remarkably echo the same message as open education. Enduring truths, it seems, will find a way to grow and flourish. Alfie Kohn, Richard Curwin, Allen Mendler, William Glasser, and Robert Wubbolding are some of the most widely read authors in education. They have written extensively on learning, teaching, and human behavior. In this issue of Reaching Today’s Youth, their writings represent an impressive array of unified ideas regarding the conditions that foster personal growth. Their ideas complement each other and provide fresh insight into the dynamic relationship between respect and responsibility. Each one advocates nurturing responsible behavior by respecting the right of young people to make their own choices. As Alfie Kohn puts it, "you have to give young people responsibility in order to have them act responsibly."

Respect and responsibility are synergistic. They feed and grow off each other. The more respect and responsibility we give young people, the more we will get in return. This is neither a maxim nor an act of faith, but a reality that is reflected in the writings of several other contributing educators. Like pieces of a mosaic, their ideas for fostering responsibility form a compelling illustration of how adults and young people can live and learn together. Linda Goulet describes a set of guidelines she has used successfully to help school-hardened special education adolescents gain self-respect. Linda Bell explains how tadpoles, caterpillars, and a parrot can teach young people empathy and patience. Other contributors, including Joe Young, Bill Messenger, and staff members at YAIYA (Young Aspirations/Young Artists), present creative approaches for weaving art, cartoons, and music into youth projects. Their approach appeals to the open educator in me who constantly marveled at how unmotivated students slid easily into high gear when they were doing something they found interesting. Sylvia Rockwell follows up on Alfie Kohn’s critique of social skill instruction by describing how service learning and mini-business ventures help form bonds of trust between youth and the adults who would help them.

One of the most often cited criticisms of social skill development is lack of evidence of generalization to the community at large. What is often overlooked in this critique is that school-based programs are only part of the solution for helping young people achieve respect and responsibility. As Sister Mary Rose McGeady explains, many young people are challenged each day merely to find shelter and feed themselves. If we want to help youngsters who continually confront homelessness, violence, and abuse, we must first respect their plight and second respect their tenacity for survival. We have much to learn from survivors such as Lucia Diaz who went from maid to the Executive Director of the Mar Vista Family Center, the agency that gave her a new lease on life. As sociologist Paul Goodman observed, many young people grow up surrounded by absurd conditions. Before we seek to change their behavior to conform to our idea of responsibility, we must first learn about the contexts that shape their lives. We need to hear their voices to better understand their needs.

During my initial, fitful months as a teacher in an open classroom, I learned that when we give young people choices, they do not always choose as we would. Young people have different priorities, and attempts to force them into preconceived molds will only harden their resistance. At the same time, young people are also unpracticed in sound decision making. Adult guidance must not be abdicated. This is the mistake that many open educators made, and it ultimately hastened the demise of open education as a reform movement. Some teachers thought that open education meant turning all control over to students. They placed unrealistic expectations on their young charges and anticipated that students, once unfettered from adult authority, would just naturally dive into their studies. When this did not happen, many teachers, parents, and students came to the conclusion that democratic practices were not compatible with sound educational practice.

Twenty-five years after the hey-day of open education, we are still searching for the best ways to help young people learn responsible behavior. However, the lessons from the past are not lost. My reading of these articles reinforces my belief that, provided the right balance of mutual respect, adults and young people can form a potent partnership for personal change.

Martin Henley is a regular contributor to Reaching Today’s Youth’s "Teaching Responsibility" column, a professor in the Education Department at Westfield State College, and Director of the Pegasus Center for Enabling Education. During his 25 years as an educator he has taught sixth grade in urban schools, taught special education classes for emotionally disturbed students, served as a Head Start director~ and administered an inclusive school for autistic students. Henley is author of Teaching Self Control: A Curriculum for Responsible Behavior. He can be reached at Westfield State College, Education Department, Westfield, MA 01086.


The Community Circle Conversations begin online this September! To connect with other professionals about "what’s working" in building respect and responsibility in youth, see our Web site at
www.nes.org. Featured author this September is Dr. Martin Henley