Cultures of Connection

Cultures of Aggression

from the editors

Finding Alternatives to Anger

Lyndal M. Bullock

For many of us who have been involved with young people and their families in diverse environments and often under difficult circumstances, encountering a young person who is experiencing a lot of disappointment and anger is not uncommon. I remember Jacque, a 13-year-old boy who was in my regular education social studies classroom. When Jacque came to my classroom, he was new to our school. My first impression was that he was stylishly well groomed displayed atypically mature social skills, was somewhat shy but personable, appeared to be task-focused and was ready to go to work whenever the bell sounded.

He was a young man of few words. Although he seldom volunteered answers, he would respond appropriately when called upon, and when pressed he could elaborate on most topics under discussion, showing that he had studied the materials. Unfortunately, it soon became obvious that he was not making friends as quickly as might be expected. Instead, he became increasingly critical of others in the classroom, and he often made demeaning remarks about himself, his abilities, and others. From time to time, he showed signs that it was about all he could do to control himself.

During the initial few weeks of the semester, I decided to learn more about my students by scheduling conferences with them during the planning period. When I announced to the class that I would be setting up appointments with each of them, I was shocked that Jacque volunteered for the first appointment. To my amazement, he was ready to freely share his thoughts and feelings. Although I was able to steer him to begin working with the school counselor on a regular basis, what I learned during my initial conferences with him was enlightening.

Jacque's father, an executive with a large company, traveled more than he was at home. Jacque and his father seldom engaged in any kind of activities together. Because they had often moved as his father climbed the corporate ladder, Jacque had made few friends. For years, he had been left in the care of different housekeepers and a series of "stepmothers." He had had good relationships with some, but not with others.

He had not seen his mother since the first grade, although about twice a year she called him and promised she was coming to see him. But she never appeared. She never remembered his birthday or other special occasions. He had no siblings or extended family who lived nearby. Although he lived in a highly desirable neighborhood and had all the appearances of a privileged young person, Jacque said, "It's all a facade, and I hate it!" He expressed repeatedly the desire to have friends, to be able to "pal around" with someone his age, and to have someone in his life who really cared about him. Jacque was a very depressed, lonely, and angry young person! Fortunately, he was also bright, articulate, and assertive. He was able to use his personal resources to seize the opportunity to talk with what he perceived to be a "caring adult" who might be able to serve in an advocacy role for him.

What we often see in young people who have much anger built up within themselves is a state of helplessness. Cognitively, or out of fear, they are unable to determine positive ways to find personal relief. Instead they become more isolated from peers, friends, and relatives, and their anger increases. Anger begets more anger until finally there is a violent, sometimes unexpected eruption of behavior that gets the attention of others, but typically makes matters worse for the individual. These violent eruptions may be targeted toward peers, teachers, parents, or others in the school and community.

We recognize that there are hundreds of thousands of young people in our schools and communities who, for a wide variety of reasons, are disappointed with what life offers them. They feel trapped in their situations. They feel alienated from peers, families, and other caring adults. And they are becoming more hostile and angry as a result of their life experiences. Divided into three major topics, this issue of Reaching Today 's Youth is devoted to examining positive ways of dealing with anger and aggression.

One-on-One Strategies

In the first section, Kenyetta Ivy vividly portrays an angry young woman's odyssey through a string of group homes in New York that ends with an unexpected discovery--the transforming power of one person's steadfast support. Michele Marable and Sharon Raimondi offer suggestions on what you can do when confronted with an angry student and feel yourself losing control. Arnold Goldstein provides strategies for working with youth who are verbally aggressive. Finally, Richard Curwin and Allen Mendler delineate strategies for helping youth with challenging behaviors learn the importance of accepting responsibility.

Cultures of Connection

The cultures of connection section addresses numerous issues that will enhance the potential for positive behavioral outcomes for young people. Mary Little highlights the need to meet students' basic human needs for connection, competence, self control, and contribution. Articles by Beverley Johns and Richard Van Acker focus on creating a non-aggressive environment of caring and student success, along with a culture that values all people. Richard Simpson and his colleagues examine alternative approaches for building safe and effective schools and present strategies for preventing aggressive and violent behavior. Timothy Lewis and Carol Daniels describe ways to rethink schoolwide discipline through professional development activities that help schools assess and address their discipline needs. The last contribution to this section, by Lyndal M. Bullock and Clark Cavin, focuses on meeting the needs of children and youth with challenging behaviors through advocacy activities--a critical element in providing support.

Cultures of Aggression

The differences between rage and violence are discussed by Carla Manno and her colleagues, along with ways to prevent violent acts. Kathryn Seifert provides an overview of what we know about violent children and describes steps for changing their lives. In the final article, Jeannine Studer discusses factors that contribute to resiliency and how mental health professionals can incorporate those factors in a violence-reduction program.

The articles in this issue, although individually crafted, provide an array of information to increase our understanding of aggressive and violent behavior and improve our ability to design effective strategies that will make a difference in the lives of our young people.

The senior co-editors of Reaching Today's Youth invite your reactions to this issue of the journal and welcome your ideas on enhancing the content of future issues. Please forward comments and suggestions to Reaching Today's Youth, National Educational Service, 1252 Loesch Road Bloomington, IN 47404, telephone 812-336-7700, e-mail pubs@nesonline.com.

Lyndal M. Bullock is a senior editor of Reaching Today's Youth and is past president of the Council for Children with Behavior Disorders and the Regent 's Professor of Special Education at the University of North Texas in Denton.