Name:       Marlene Kingsmith
Age:          Almost 60 and loving life!!!
Location:  Calgary, Alberta

Biography
I have been working in the CYC field since 1972. For the first years I worked as an outreach worker on the streets of downtown Calgary and then at a “treatment camp” where I learned all about what not to do when working with troubled youth. I met my first foster son at that program and learned how to be an advocate. I came home after that experience to pursue my vision of opening a safe house for adolescent girls. I opened my foster home in 1977 and some of those girls are still in my life, having given me the greatest gifts of five grandchildren. After the girls turned 18 and moved out of the home, but not out of my life, I worked as a Social Worker for a couple of years while contemplating my next step. In 1982 I was successful (along with two partners) in getting a contract to open a group home for adolescent boys and girls. The Wellington Place Group Home operated for 18 years. In 1986 I completed my MSc in Child and Youth Care Administration from Nova University. This program affirmed for me that I did have knowledge and skill but also made me realize there is always more to learn and understand when working with troubled youth. My good friend and mentor, Carol Ann Probert was teaching at Mount Royal College and I approached her to teach a class. Two years later I gained a full time position and shortly after became the coordinator of the Child and Youth Care Counsellor Diploma. In 1991 I began work on a PhD in Educational Leadership from Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington. After graduating in 1997, I began to evaluate the quality of my life and the toll two jobs was taking. In 2000 I sold the group home to McMan Youth Family and Community Services and have been on the Board of Directors since that time. I now focus on my work as a CYC instructor and spending time with my foster children and grandchildren, family and friends. I love to golf and curl and I also love Elvis (I have a shrine in my basement!!!!) and the Calgary Stampeders. Life is good and I am grateful for all that has been given to me.

How I came to be in this field
I graduated from the University of Calgary with a degree in Physical Education. While attending university I worked with many children and youth in a variety of recreation settings. In my heart, I knew that I couldn’t become a teacher (at that time), as I would want to take home all those children who were hurting. My job as an outreach worker in downtown Calgary changed my life. I saw young people with so much potential, but dealing with such pain in their lives that they had no hope. I fell in love with them and my dream of opening a safe place for them to live was born. I needed to give them hope.

My favourite saying (this week)
I love quotes and have so many, but this is one of my very favorites. Jane Addams spoke these words about Hull House which was the settlement house she opened on September 18, 1889.

“It must be open to conviction and must have a deep and abiding sense of tolerance. It must be hospitable and ready for experiment…it must be grounded in a philosophy whose foundation is on the solidarity of the human race, a philosophy which will not waver. “

I believe these words speak to a fundamental philosophy which guides CYC practice.

A few thoughts about CYC

• It is the most challenging and meaningful work anyone can do.

• There is nothing more rewarding than seeing a young person grow and change and become who he/she was meant to be without fear.

• CYC work requires humility and above all a genuine love of others.

Right: Me and my grandchildren (and nephew – the youngest).

Last thing I read, watched, heard, which I would recommend to others
I just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini* (who also wrote The Kite Runner). These two books had a profound influence on me and made me even more grateful to live in a country where freedom from oppression lives.

Favourite CYC experience
One of the many things I love to do is make the youth laugh and get a little crazy. I also believe we need to lighten up, especially around the dinner table. One night we were having spaghetti and one of the youth was being quite obnoxious and itching for a fight. I just looked at him and asked if he’d like to have a spaghetti fight to get out his frustrations and he just looked at me and said “are you kidding?” Well, no I wasn’t and the fight was on. That young person (and the others) laughed so hard and what a mess we made. After it was all over and they all pitched in to help clean up the mess, we sat around and talked about life and how we need to find ways to laugh and not always take things so seriously. We had many other food and water fights (but after the first one, we took them outside!!!!).

A few thoughts for those starting out

• Be humble in all you do.

• The process is long and challenging and you will make mistakes. Learn and grow from them.

• You will never know everything; use what you know to discover more.

• Look beyond the behavior to the pain that drives it. When we only focus on what we see, we don’t understand what’s going on inside that person. If we don’t understand, we can’t help.

• Take risks and go with your gut. Interventions don’t always come from a book.

• Care from the depth of your being; be gentle, kind, understanding, and always listen.

A recommended CYC reading
Access through CYC-Net and the journal Relational Child and Youth Care Practice Journal – read it, use it, enjoy!

Two specific articles written by my friend Lorraine Fox should be read over and over and over:

'The Catastrophe of Compliance' and 'Who Put the Care into Child and Youth Care' – both have been recently published again on CYC-Net and are in the Journal of Child and Youth Care.

My favourite CYC-relevant link and why
http://www.cycaa.com The Child and Youth Care Association of Alberta. If you want to make a difference, get involved.

Influences on my work
My parents were the biggest influence in my life. They gave me the love, safety and guidance I needed to establish my values. The young people I have worked with over the years have influenced me, taught me and given me more than I ever thought possible.

Anything else
Love what you do ,live each day to the fullest, and be grateful.

__________

* A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini is in our bookstore:

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