Name:       John Stein

Age:          64

Location:  Mandeville, Louisiana

Biography
I am a native of Reading, Pennsylvania. I attended Lehigh University in Bethlehem, PA, where I married my high school sweetheart in my third year. We have a son and daughter and two granddaughters. I was not a motivated student and left college in my senior year with three years in Psychology. My first experience in human services was as a police officer, walking foot patrol in the city’s housing projects to build relationships with residents. One night, fellow officers arrested seven boys from the projects and beat them severely. I witnessed the beatings and refused to participate in the attempted coverup. I resigned a few months later rather than participate in the arrest of a crowd of people, including a youth worker, who had gathered after an incident, but who had done nothing illegal. The first job I applied for afterwards was as a youth worker at a neighborhood center in one of the projects. The director informed me in a five-minute meeting that the kids would be doing the interviews and hiring their worker. I went to the interview a few days later, feeling pretty confident since some of the kids knew me. I was impressed with the seriousness of their questions in a 45-minute interview. They were not so impressed with my responses. I finished third. Out of three. A few weeks later, I accepted a position directing a neighborhood center for another agency in another project, where I had the opportunity to have the kids interview and hire their own youth worker. When I finally completed my degree, I returned to Lehigh for a Master of Education majoring in Social Restoration. It emphasized counseling and remedial education for institutional populations. I needed a job, and it provided a full time, paid internship in a maximum security prison. After graduation, I was hired as Acting Director to start a new secure community-based program for intensive treatment of juvenile offenders. They already hired an Executive Director, but he would not be available for three months, and they were anxious to get started. I was interviewed on Sunday, hired on Tuesday, given three resumes of people I could hire immediately, showed the facility, and told to be ready to take our first kids on Friday. We did it and the fun began. I eventually relocated to Louisiana, where I directed a several residential and outpatient programs for children and adults, teaching occasional courses in corrections and sociology. I retired in 2003 to write, lecture, and travel.

How I came to be in this field
By accident. With a wife and two children to support, I couldn’t afford to be choosy when I needed a job. Although I applied for a variety of positions, and worked for a time managing construction and auto sales, the jobs that most often came my way were in the administration of residential programs. Fortunately, it was a good fit.

A few of my favorite sayings
“The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.” O. A. “Bum” Phillips

“It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” Leo F. Buscaglia

“Sometimes doing your best is not enough. You have to do what is required.” Winston Churchill

A few thoughts about child and youth care
I always worked as an administrator. I worked the front lines only when we were short of staff. I always felt, as an administrator, that it was my job to take care of the staff, providing what they needed to do their jobs – resources, clear and consistent expectations, training, authority to carry out their responsibilities, support when they did their best, time off when they needed it. I found that the better I was at my job, the better they were at their job – taking care of kids.

Last thing I heard, read or watched that I would recommend to others
Charles Sharpe’s comments on “what makes a family” in the discussion group on 3/24.

Favorite child and youth care experience
I was directing a residential program for twelve boys. Near the end of a summer busy with activities and challenging children, the Executive Director decided that we should take the boys camping and rented a cabin in a state park. Staff were exhausted. I decided to make it a vacation for both staff and the boys. We suspended all the rules, no bedtimes, chores, points, etc. I handled all the meals and cleanup. All the staff and kids had to do was have fun in the woods by the lake and be safe. It seemed I was no sooner finished cleaning up one meal than it was time to start the next. On the last night, two of the older boys came into the kitchen and said, “You’ve done enough. We’ll take it from here.” When I protested, one of the boys firmly but gently escorted me from the kitchen. Then they put everything in order.

A few thoughts for those starting out in this field
Don’t worry too much about behavior. Rather, worry about each child. When you take care of a child, the child will eventually take care of the behavior.

When you have worked hard for long hours, no matter how tired you may be, if you are satisfied with what you have accomplished, you feel fulfilled. It is a great feeling. You can rest easy. When you are not satisfied, rest does not come so easily. Give it your all, then rest easy.

A recommended child and youth care reading link
www.goodenoughcaring.com. Some good discussion and a semi-annual journal.

My favorite child and youth care reading link
CYC-Net. It’s got everything, current and archived, a great discussion group, a spot of humor, and a monthly journal with articles that are often curiously relevant to recent discussions.

A writing of my own
Residential Treatment of Adolescents & Children: Issues, principles, and techniques. Nelson-Hall Series in Social Work, Chicago, 1995.

http://www.cyc‑net.org/cyc-online/cycol‑0606-stein.html  “Hiring Staff”

Influences on my work
My mother, who was remarkably inconsistent with discipline, but even more remarkably consistent with expectations. She taught children how to behave well and helped us understand why it was important. Theodore Millon, an undergraduate psych professor, for the vision of residential treatment as a place where you can create a nearly perfect environment, a place where anything and everything is possible. Richard Cass, a community organizer who showed me that kids are the best judges in hiring their staff. I’ve used the approach most successfully in five different settings, including some very challenging residential programs. Mary Mitchell, a colleague trained at Boys Town, who taught me the importance of a social skills curriculum. Paul Bussell, an Executive Director who forced me to see that restrictions of more than a day or two, even for the most serious offenses, do more harm than good. (I never did those horrible room restrictions – only restricted kids from pool, TV, and going outside without supervision, never from supervised activities – but even such minor restrictions proved harmful when they were too long.) James Rogers, an assistant, who showed me the importance of relationships and using them to teach children the how and why of appropriate behavior. He brought the social skills curriculum to life. The kids. All of them.