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Listen to thisNervousness, apprehension and fear are only three of the words I associate with the beginning of my second year placement. This was a time of many questions: Will I make a good child and youth worker? Is this what I really want to do with my life? After six months of field placement at a residential treatment centre, the answer is yes. In this paper, I outline events that support my decision to become a child and youth worker. I will also address my “coming of age" as a child and youth worker; the times that I have asserted my individuality and independence, and have grown through my successes.
Acceptance by the children
The night before my first shift at the residence was a sleepless one.
After getting up and eating breakfast, the butterflies began to flutter
in my stomach. It was the kind of nervous anticipation I have
experienced numerous times before, while preparing for a test or
sporting event of great importance. Considering the intensity of these
feelings I was amazed that I actually arrived at the front door of the
residence without throwing up.
Upon entering the building, I was greeted by a male worker who briefed me about the rules and routines of the residence. He seemed to be a very nice gentleman and this helped subdue my feelings of anxiety. One of his first suggestions was that I, being just a student, should remain in the office for the duration of the shift. He was trying to protect me from any stressful situations that might arise due to my inexperience in working with problem kids. Initially this seemed to be a great idea because I was very nervous. As the hours passed, however, I began to feel like I would go crazy if I read another procedures manual. I then decided to take my chances and join the staff and residents at the dinner table for their evening meal. I had intended to sit quietly and not force myself on any of the residents, yet I found myself conversing with them in a quiet, honest manner by the end of the meal.
After dinner, I moved to the TV room with the residents and sat at a distance, listening and observing. As the evening progressed, the kids began to ask me questions such as, “What are you doing here? Are you a student?" I responded by saying that I was a college student who was training to become a child and youth worker. The kids then began to disclose their reasons for being in care. One young girl said that she was a victim of sexual abuse, while another young boy indicated that he had been beaten up by his dad. These statements suggested to me that the kids were comfortable in my presence.
Upon the completion of my shift, I said good night to the kids and told them I would be back the next day. One young girl responded by saying, “It was nice meeting you. Maybe we can continue our talk tomorrow." Smiling faces and courteous comments made me feel good inside and were a great way to end the day.
The drive home that evening was very peaceful. It was as if a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I said to myself, “Hey, that wasn’t so tough, I can do this." The shift provided me with an injection of confidence which replaced my earlier nervousness. To have the chance to work with kids was very exciting and my only regret was that the shift had ended.
The big question
As the weeks progressed, my fear of the unknown decreased and my
anticipation of the future increased. I looked forward to each shift
with an enthusiasm I wanted to share with the residents and staff.
The second major event occurred during an outing to a shopping mall. At this point in my placement, I felt that I wasn’t favouring any of the residents and was distributing my time equally to each kid. I did not feel that my relationships with the residents were “convenient vehicles to be used in a process of coercion disguised by a veil of altruism" (Fewster, 1982, p. 72). I really liked these kids and they were my friends as well as clients.
While walking in the mall with three residents and two staff members, I noticed that the kids were playing a game that involved touching each other on the shoulder. The kid being touched would turn around and the kid doing the touching would disappear. This game proved to be quite fun for the residents. Even with all the laughing and giggling, it was obviously not excessive nor were they hurting anyone, so I decided to join in their game. I would touch a resident on his/her shoulder and then move away, only to watch the kid turn around in confused delight. The tag game lasted about five minutes and then ended as quickly as it started.
As we were leaving the mall, I noticed that the two staff members seemed emotionally distant from me. The first thought that entered my mind was that I had done something wrong. I had a hunch that it was an issue revolving around the tag game that the residents and I had engaged in. Upon leaving the mall, the residents and one staff member left in one car and I and the other worker left in a separate car.
The deafening silence that was present in the vehicle on the way back to the residence was just waiting to be shattered. The worker then turned to me and asked one of the toughest questions I have ever had to answer, “Do you feel you have to be friends with the kids?" Without telling me what I had done wrong, this question implied that there was only one correct answer, and was obviously a set-up. With my heart beating at an abnormal rate, I took a deep breath and replied with an honest, “Yes, I feel I do." To say the worker was stunned by my response would be an understatement. The look she gave me was one of disbelief as if to say, “What are they teaching you at that school?" I then went on to explain to her that by establishing a friendship, the kids will respond to me more positively. The worker responded by saying that I was “feeding into negative behaviours" by engaging in the tag game. I could not believe that she felt the kids were engaged in negative behaviours. They were not loud or hurting anyone, but were just being kids full of energy, enthusiasm and a zest for life. Rather than expressing these feelings to her, I decided to remain quiet due to the tension that filled the vehicle.
At first this event really hurt me. I had a hard time sleeping that night and even experienced some self-doubt and reappraisal of my child care skills. When I awoke the next morning, I decided that the worker who confronted me was “full of crap," and that this incident would not influence my future interaction with the kids. I also came to the realization that I was overreacting and accepted the fact that this field is full of very different personalities, each with his/her own philosophies and beliefs.
Consequencing and choices
The following incident outlines a situation that occurred when I allowed
a kid to be responsible for his own behaviour instead of immediately “bringing the hammer down" and imposing consequences on him.
One of the young residents, while playing Nintendo, was slamming the control pad on the counter top whenever he made a mistake. This slamming persisted for a couple of minutes before I decided to intervene. In a firm, but calm tone, I said to him, “I know how much you like to play Nintendo and I want you to continue to play. You know that Nintendo is a privilege and if you abuse the privilege you will lose it for a period of time." I continued to reinforce that I would like him to keep playing, and then left to play pool, adding that I would be back in a few minutes to see what he had decided. Upon my return, I noticed that he was playing quietly and not “slamming" the controller into the table. He then informed me that he decided to keep playing and not lose his privilege.
This technique was successful because I think the kid was provided with a sense of empowerment. I could have taken the easy way out and immediately consequenced him, but instead I allowed him to take responsibility for his behaviour. He made a decision that met his needs and I provided him with that opportunity. I felt quite positive about the way I had intervened and it was good to know that I could produce a change in behaviour without the kind of commands and demands that I saw being used so often (e.g., “you had better; if you don't...").
I believe this experience was a very important part of my skill development as a child and youth worker. I was now beginning to take the positive therapeutic techniques learned in the classroom and apply them successfully in my placement.
Alone in the community
This next incident occurred during my third month of placement. My
supervisor asked me if I would like to take a kid into the community by
myself in the near future. I responded with an assertive “Yes," and then
was immediately filled with all kinds of questions. “What if he runs?
What if he insults someone out in the community?" My supervisor then
provided me with some advice. She said that if he is rude, obnoxious,
loud or inappropriate in any way he should be “cued" to discontinue his
negative behaviour. If the behaviour persists, do not be afraid to bring
him back to the residence. If the kid ever decides to run, initially try
to talk him out of it and make sure he understands the consequences.
The day finally arrived and I was asked to take a 13-year-old resident swimming at the YMCA. There was no other staff member who was a swimmer, so when this kid found out that I would join him he seemed surprised and happy. He said, “You’re actually going to swim," with a grin on his face that ran ear to ear. “Of course," I responded enthusiastically.
It was very cold that night, so we walked at a brisk pace discussing our feelings about friends, family and life in general. He discussed his relationship with a developmentally delayed resident saying that this boy made him “mad." He also talked about his mom who was manic-depressive and his father who had recently died. I was surprised at how much he had to say and how introspective he became in my presence.
While at the YMCA, he was generally well-behaved and we both had a great time. We played a game of “pool volleyball" but spent most of our time using the diving board. There was only one time when he did not follow the rules. He used the sauna after being told that it was reserved for adults only, but stopped when cued by me.
This outing really increased my confidence level and made me more independent. I could now move away from the security of the residence and other workers, yet still be an effective child and youth worker. Instead of worrying about the problems that can arise while out in the community, I now view community outings as a source of fun for both the residents and myself.
Conclusion
When I reflect on these four incidents I wrote about, a smile spreads
across my face. These events are still so vivid in my mind, that I often
wonder if I have done them justice by writing them down. With the first
shift, I overcame my initial fear of working with “problem children" by
taking a chance.
When confronted by the worker in the car, I learned that I could state my mind honestly and not be intimidated. By dealing with the child who was abusing the Nintendo, I learned to over-ride my urge to follow the usual disciplinary methods and try something more effective which had been learned in the classroom. Finally, when I was able to handle a community outing entirely on my own, I felt I had “come of age" as a child and youth worker with a variety of skills. I know I have a lot more to learn, but passing through these developmental stages makes me feel confident about the future stages.
References
Fewster, G. (1982). You, me and us [Child Care Commentary]. Journal of Child Care, 1(1), 71–73.
Acknowledgements: Journal of Child and Youth Care, Vol.8 No.3
