After determining our goal we have to decide how to work towards it — either by using the situation at hand or by creating a situation. In other words we have to choose our means. To consider the means we have also to look very closely at what is happening within the situation, such as the interactions within the group, the activities that are going on, likes and dislikes, as well as to explore the possibilities there are by knowing the surroundings, the interests, the skills of the residents and the staff. When the heart of this work is helping by living together and sharing their daily life, we have to find out how to connect “common life” with our aims. Our main tool is the awareness of the concrete possibilities within this concrete situation.

We notice that Giorgio is not feeling at ease with the other youngsters. We can ask him whether it is true and talk about this. But this might be very inadequate, perhaps isolating him even more, emphasizing his contact with the staff instead of with his peer-group. Suggesting to him that he might help Vincent repairing his bike could give a better result, knowing that Giorgio is very good at it. It would give Giorgio the opportunity to be proud of something and help Vincent to get his bike repaired — and the two to get to know each other. Asking them afterwards to do some shopping together might help them to get to know each other even better, in the hope that this would help Giorgio to feel at ease. A good reaction? It may be precarious. Better not suggest the shopping if you felt that there were some irritations during the repairing of the bike. In that case we better wait for an other occasion. Maybe the next day we can start organizing a disco and ask Giorgio and some others to help. This time, in another combination, it might help Giorgio to get a better contact with some group-mates instead of staying away from them.

The tasks are many and various
This example shows a combination of ‘working with the group’, ‘activities’ and ‘individual contact’. These are three subjects to deal with. There are more. We distinguish below eight fields which we might call ‘task areas’ to distinguish and to articulate what daily work is about. Of course this list is not complete nor the only way to classify this complex field. But it is an important instrument to take daily life seriously, to discuss and to value it explicitly and to reflect on goal orientation and cooperation with others in what we are doing. Important task areas are:

• Working with the group

• Handling individual contacts

• Caring in the stricter sense

• Stimulating activities

• Stimulating learning processes

• Living with rules

• Accompanying contacts with home

• Advancing relationships with society

Each task area represents a broad variety of activities. Each would require a long chapter to describe the variation of possibilities, the conditions needed and the skills asked of the workers. In this context we have to limit ourselves to some short remarks, just enough to give an idea about the content, hoping that readers will realize how much they are doing in this field — and to stimulate them to explore the many possibilities of a given area. In all residential and day-care we have, to some extent, to deal with all of the ‘task areas’.  In certain programs and with specific groups of people, they will function differently. The skills asked of the worker will differ accordingly.

One and the same activity can be part of several areas, depending not only on how it is seen but also on what we are aiming at. It is very interesting to see that what at first sight seems to be one and the same activity can be a combination of many different ideas with different values, depending on the way of using this ‘tool’.

For example, for Richard making pancakes is just fun (recreation). For Maria it is part of being a hostess; she likes to do something for others (caring) (getting in contact), and for Tom is it an exercise in working together with others (working with the group) (learning to be social). It also can be an opportunity for a talk while we are engaged on the activity (individual contact) and recalling some memories of what happened back home (contact with family). When the pancakes are made for a fair in the neighbourhood we can also associate this occupation with ‘contact with society’. And by noticing all the different reactions toward each other, we learn a lot about the climate and the relations in the group (clarification of the situation).

Working with the group
Living in an institution or visiting a daycare centre means to be together with other participants. Whether a group is part of the treatment, an interesting opportunity for social contact or a burden because you have to live in close contact, perhaps against your will, with people ‘you did not choose’, depends as much on the philosophy of the staff as on the position and expectations of the clients. Whatever we think of ‘the group’ we have to be attentive on the group-processes. To handle the group situation can be quite complicated. The residents or visitors are reacting towards each other positively and negatively. One of them can become very powerful and develop a great impact on the others – and generally we may not be happy with his influence. Some members may feel scared. As staff we have to take care of the milieu, an atmosphere, in which every one feels secure and at home.

Individual contact
Apart from working with the group we have to be aware of the different forms of individual contact — as supportive, restraining, furthering emotional expression, stimulating, and so on. The shape of the contact shows – in residential work more than for instance in teaching, psychotherapy or social fieldwork – an enormous variation. Shorter and longer conversations; non-verbal signal exchanges; doing things together; trips; and a variety of caring activities from combing hair to helping a resident to paint his room. We cannot say that the more intensive the contact, the better. The contact has to be valued in relation to the possibilities and needs of this particular resident (or visitor) and the goal of this placement. It can be hard work to get any contact at all — or not to let it become too intense. There will be many restrictions, originating for instance in the handicap of the person, the need to divide one’s attention between many people, and sometimes the giving of extra time by staying on.  Remember that after getting to know each other, the resident or visitor (and the staff member) is going somewhere else. Sometimes the worker is moving to another group. Emotionally it can be very demanding to switch from frequently quite intensive contacts to new ones.

Residents who live for a longer time in an institution have generally seen the coming and going an enormous number of workers who, for a longer or a shorter time, shared their lives.

Caring
Caring is a very fundamental dimension of both residential and day-care. It is not just caring for such practical things as food, clothes, rooms and direct physical care. Doing these seemingly simple and common activities, the residential worker is creating a climate and making emotional contacts often in a more far reaching way than might appear from his verbal interventions. To have the tea prepared is a clear message: “I’m waiting, you are welcome.”

Part of this task area may be dealing with privacy, receiving guests, a birthday party and other special events; arranging the accommodation; meals; a clear (not rigid) daily rhythm. This task is mistakenly often undervalued in comparison with the more ‘sophisticated’ activities such as staff meetings, behaviour observation and important interventions with residents and participants.

The way in which common, daily activities are looked after has its impact on the atmosphere and the contact between workers and residents or visitors which might vary from caring, asking, demanding or sharing. There has to be a good balance between stimulating the residents to do the caring themselves and caring for them. Learning to look after themselves can be an important goal.

Stimulating free time and other activities
Special activities as a soccer competition, a summer camp and attending a concert, movie or theatre can give a lot of fun and be of great importance. They may be organised for entertainment, celebrating a special event, bringing the participants into contact with something new, unknown to them. But in addition to these more special activities it is even more important to pay attention to everybody’s ordinary daily occupations. Within the free time periods and recreational activities we will recognize many opportunities which are complementary to goal-oriented working. There may be a tension. To look at activities as tools of our trade (as means to an end) can be dangerous. It might give the impression that a self-chosen activity can have no value in itself. We should not underestimate the fun, the joy, the recreational value of things that the youth spontaneously do by themselves. On the other hand to limit activities to entertainment is undervaluing them. An activity chosen by the residents and organised in their way gives them an active share in the institutional life.

A hobby, an activity you like, is not only fun or giving satisfaction; it can also bring you into contact with other people inside and outside the institution, confer respect, and be an alternative when finding a job is not possible. An activity can imply interesting learning, help to pass the time, offer a possibility to use your energy, to be creative, to take initiatives. Conclusion: when we know how to use activities, normal or special, they will often be an essential part of the means to reach our goals.

The interest and motivation differs from person to person. What is interesting for Charles can be boring for Frances. We have to know which skills are needed, what accommodation and resources are available, what is of interest for a certain age-group, how to motivate them to do something new, or how to finish something after an energetic start when the road proves to be long.

Stimulating learning processes
The residential and day-care worker is no teacher. But there are many situations in which he has to teach, in which the residents and participants will learn different things in quite different ways. To cook a meal, to invite guests, to pay money by cheque, to be more social, to avoid or resolve a conflict, to accept or give criticism, to organize their time or to arrange the room — these are only a few examples of what may prove to be quite difficult learning processes.

Living with rules
Wherever we live together with a number of people we have to deal with rules. In an institution there are many. Most of them made by others and are seen as restrictions instead of aids or opportunities. Looking more closely we might discover both in rules. A rule such as “Laying the table once a week is a duty from one point of view, but it implies on the other hand you don’t have to bother about it on the other six days of the week!”  The absence of rules about time for drinking tea and coffee makes one unsure. What time will it be? Again and again we have to ask ourselves: how many rules should there be and how strictly should they be to be upheld. The rule: “Flexible and not more than necessary” sounds very pleasant. But the problem is that we all experience rules differently. For me personally a certain rule can make life orderly and pleasant. Somebody else might feel the same rule is too strict and limits his freedom. Others might prefer a much more regulated life. To look for a good balance for participants and workers is a never-ending process. Reconsidering and reevaluating rules regularly is a precondition for a good climate.

Contact with the residents and visitors’ relatives and friends
For many years, attention to and dealing with the family background of those in residential care has been marginal. In daycare more attention was always given to this task area. More and more the insight developed that the residential worker also plays an important role in understanding, guiding, supporting, sometimes stimulating the interaction between the resident or visitor and his family. In daycare the contact between the client, his family and the workers might be more close. In all situations it is of great importance to be attentive to this task area with its own possibilities and difficulties. Tension can easily arise. The worker feels criticized on emotional (more than rational) grounds by an over-concerned parent (or child when the resident or visitors are older people). Sometimes there are feelings of jealousy toward the worker because of his ability to be close to the beloved child, or of his success, where parents or relatives feel that they have failed. Sometimes it is difficult for the worker not to criticize the family situation which is negative from his own point of view. Creatively dealing with visits in both directions, with letters which arrive (or don’t arrive), with family celebrations, etc., are as important as our interventions.

Advancing relationship with society
In different ways contact with the surrounding community and society at large has to be stimulated, learned, supported and sometimes chosen selectively. This may serve goals such as preparing for going home or living somewhere by yourselves. It also has to do with maintenance of valuable contacts and to display hospitality.

Welcoming neighbours is one way to open up the institute and to prevent it from being a world on its own. This kind of communication presupposes our attention and can be called a goal-area. It is part of getting to know each other, of breaking prejudices. To help a resident to find the way to social insurance facilities, the dentist or the Post office are all parts of daily life which have to be supported, sometimes stimulated and often learned.

The importance of looking backward honestly

After our actions we want to assess the outcome. Did we reach our goal? What about the means we used, sometimes after long and complicated preparation? What did we forget, what went very well — and what went wrong? What can we learn from what we did? As we said before, every action is more than just a mark on a line with a uncomplicated outcome which brings or fails to bring us to our goal. Judging what we did is more complicated and needs a thorough looking back over the steps we took. It can give us a lot of information in different ways. New possibilities become clear by knowing more about the situation we are in. New starting points are becoming visible. Our wondering what the next aim would be and what means are available, will become more clear.

To reach this stage we have to postpone our judgement. Judging our work too quickly prevents us from looking at it with an open mind. At the moment of looking back we have to be aware of the outcome in relation to our intentions, realizing the differences between the two. It is something of an art to be able to see more than what we want to see, and to look for what really happened. And when we feel judged either by colleagues or by superiors this honest looking is impossible.

All involved in the preparations, in choosing the aims and means, have to take part in the evaluation. All with their own feelings, their own experiences and point of view. We have to distinguish feelings from facts. Both are of value but should not be mixed up. When we are strongly emotionally involved, facts can easily be overlooked. When we speak in an irritated way about Monica always being late for dinner it is important to find out how often ‘always’ really is. In fact it might have been only once this week. The fact that Elizabeth was absent three times without being noticed deserves attention. To compare feelings and facts might give us important information about our feelings toward somebody and about the way somebody is acting.

The five points of view mentioned in the paragraph about clarification of the starting situation are also a useful tool in the moment of looking back. They help us to check our way of looking from different points of view. (See the para Clarifying the starting situation from different perspectives in Part Two of this series.)

It will be obvious that we also have to distinguish between a goal formulated by the team, by the staff, by a colleague or by ourselves. This brings us to the question: “How did we work together?” There might be hardly any looking back when this question is not asked. Going to a movie with Barbara, one of the youngsters, without discussing it with the colleagues is denying teamwork. My doing affects their work. Another has to look after those who are staying home; the exclusive attention to Barbara may have an impact on the others; my wish to be popular may irritate colleagues; youngsters are expecting the same attitude of my colleagues.

Looking back together with those who are involved is not only a precondition for broadening our view and getting more detailed information. It also prevents us from drawing our own conclusions about what others are thinking of the action. Without asking you hear much less.

A condition for looking back properly is not feeling judged but stimulated to explore and to ask, and feeling that we are taken seriously in our doings and questions. That’s the only way to learn from what we do. The more we were clear in our goal-setting and in making choices about the means, the better we can inter-connect intentions, results of action and new possibilities.

How was I involved personally?

Finally, to realize our personal involvement is a part of looking back. As a part of the situation it is important to become aware of my own expectations, wishes, feelings, hopes, fears and disappointments, and to distinguish them from the other persons involved. They have their expectations and interests. Being ourselves is an important instrument in our thinking, reflecting and acting. We are not able to do this work without exploring our own feelings and reactions. It helps to do justice to others, to the situation and to ourselves. Sometimes we need help to distinguish our part in relation to the others, colleagues as well as residents. Without this self-reflection working with others in dialogue is impossible.

Learning to take notice of our own actions and emotions gives us an important instrument for working professionally and for learning (which are very close interconnected). Important in this context are: the skills of the worker; the social environment in and around the residential (or daycare) centre; the basic philosophy of the institute.

The basic viewpoint from which we approach these topics can be summarised in four principles:

• Every person and every situation is unique;

• The best attitude in this work is one of wondering and openness.

• This work cannot be done without real dialogue, without taking the other (client and colleague) and his side of the story seriously.

• Curiosity and interest in new methods and opportunities.