Why doing is preferential to talking

Henry Maier

My columns tend to stress caregivers' overt behavior with the care receivers rather than talking about or prescribing specifically what is to be done with them. Let me share with you my rationale for stressing a highly engaging care practice.

In being actively involved with the care receivers the worker becomes more personally engaged, thus enhancing the ability for mutual understanding. In fact, in doing things together workers become clearer about their own intent and gain proficiency in their practice.

For instance, when the worker greets the child or youth with a hearty handshake or a warm embrace, instead of the traditional verbal greeting, a stronger personal connection tends to be made. In another illustration of how to make a connection by action, the counselor can elicit participation by initiating or helping. By actually starting to straighten out the child's bed the counselor is likely be more effective in bringing the child to participate than if she insisted, “This bed must be remade!” In re-making the bed together the two can join in mutual interaction that is positive and relationship building.

Upon subsequent meetings I also recommend that the workers introduce a finger game or some potentially fun interactive activity so both worker and youngster can be engaged, finding mutual enjoyment in just being together.

Moreover, one of the essential capabilities necessary to consider for worker selection is that they have a rich repertoire of fun games, the ability to be spontaneous and engage themselves with the children or youth.

Much fun can be had without worker or residents wondering how their time together can be reduced to a manageable period. Just throw a balloon into the air and try to keep it aloft within the group or bang it to somebody to keep it moving. In preparing a snack together child or youth as well as caregiver can learn much of each other, especially each one’s honest feelings about likes and dislikes. Some of the finest care periods may occur while trying to work out a play or a stunt evening. One might notice that in each instance the activities bring residents and workers genuinely together, becoming mutually engaged without being bureaucratically programmed.

Rather than counting on the delivery of verbal agreements of what ought to be done or for the worker to dictate the nature of their time together, by working together instead the power base of both worker and care receiver has a better chance to be balanced.