ListenI hear other child care workers threatening
a child with “time out". What does this mean?
Child care workers who “threaten" youngsters with time out do not
understand the concept fully themselves. That would be the same as “threatening" to give them individual attention with their homework – or “threatening" to support them when in difficulties!
What time out is
Time out is a basic management tool whereby a youngster who is not
managing a group situation well is, for a specified time, taken out of
the group in order to be prepared for re-entry “and hopefully a better
session in the group.
As Child and Youth Care workers, our task is to make the group living experience valuable and helpful for everyone – for the group and for its individual members. If ever we have a group situation where one child is having a difficult time which is causing the group to be unhelpful or unpleasant for himself, or unhelpful or unpleasant for others, then that group has lost its value in our programme. The group will then start to generate frustration, hostility and rejecting behaviour, all of which run counter to our goals.
In such a situation we have two choices: One is to
step into the problem situation and use it as a learning opportunity
("OK, let's look at what's going on here, let's talk this out ... “).
The other choice is to take the aggravating child aside for a cooling
off period in order to help him to re-enter the group more positively
("time out").
What time out is not
Time out is not “Leave the room!" or “Go to your own room!" Our work is
to engage with youngsters who have emotional and behavioural problems,
not to reject them. We are supposed to teach them, not dismiss them. If
we were to say to a youngster “You get out of here, we don't want you
here," we would be reproducing all of the negative reactions they have
come to expect in their lives. Therefore, time out is not sending a
child away, but going out with him for a break. It is not a punishment,
but an opportunity for some one-on-one attention or a life-space
interview.
For, not against
Time out may certainly be mandatory (just as a referee sends a player to
the cool-box for five minutes) because we want to stop destructive
behaviour and conflict in the group. But it is for the child, not
against the child.
* * *
How could you better manage time out in your own organisation? When I visited the famous Walker Home and School founded by Al Trieschman, the practice was to have one extra staff member available during the afternoon in a central place to which youngsters might be taken for time out – to be with an adult, to cool down and relieve the pressure, to talk out what happened, to have some quieter time together and prepare to rejoin the group.
