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moments with youth

Mark Krueger: In our last column, Quinn Wilder shared three moments of rhythmic interaction, a theme that has emerged from our study of moments with youth. In the following moments, Pam Ramsey, a program director and experienced independent living youth worker, shares a moving example of re-connection and transition, two other major themes that have emerged from our study.

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I went to K-mart on So. 27th Street to find some sheer curtains I had been looking for sometime now. I was very hopeful, yet anxious to get out of the store because it was very crowded and messy, as it was near Christmas. As I strolled down the aisle, I noticed a young lady across the way who looked very familiar. I couldn’t see her face very well and found myself staring. As we got closer, I realized I knew her. Her story flashed through my mind “the middle girl of three sisters, no children, struggled with school, but managed to complete, worked at Burger King off Chase, and great money saver. She must be about 22-23 years old now. What is she doing now? What’s her name? “What is her name? She’s getting closer “What is her name? I hate it when I don’t remember their names. What will I say to her? Will she remember me?

She’s here “Well-well, look who we have here! How are you doing?"

She spoke back “Hi." No she doesn’t remember me either, but it was obvious that I looked familiar to her too, based on the frown in her forehead. “Oh, I remember you (she screamed), but I am sorry that I don’t remember your name."

"Pam." I said, “I don’t remember your name either."

"Natasha “What school did you go to?"

I had to blush after that“Was she pulling my leg with that line? “I am Pam Ramsey from the Independent Living Program–"

"Oh-yeah!" She interrupted “You look so different with your hair like that “you used to wear braids “right?"

"Yeah I did, so how have you been?"

"Fine. I am working at TCF Bank. I had a baby six months ago and I am engaged to get married in July."

"Wow, that’s great!" I said. “You look very happy."

"I am. You remember my sister, Denise “the oldest”?"

(I nodded, yes).

"She had a baby too “a girl, I had a boy. She is married and they bought a house. She works for the city."

"You girls have really grown up," I said.

"Do you remember my baby sister, Jonah “she got two babies and is pregnant again. She’s still messing up. We try to talk to her, but she ain’t trying to hear us.

"Keep talking, she’ll hear you one day. Don’t give up on her. She’ll find her way in her own time."

She responded “I know “she’ll do good for awhile and then mess up, so I know she can when she want to “Are you still doing those groups?"

"I am still with ILP, but I stopped doing groups. I plan to start back in January though."

"That was a good program, it helped me a lot. Cause I didn’t know what I was going to do. I remember when Denise used to come home talking about it, I couldn’t wait to turn 16 to join. I really liked it."

"Alright, now you’re making me blush," I said.

"I’m for real though."

"Well, thank you. How old is Jonah?"

"Nineteen."

"Well, here take my card and have her give me a call."

"Do you think you can help her?"

"Honey, nothing beats a failure but a try."

"I hope so “she needs all the help she can get."

"I’m not going to hold you up, plus I have to get going. You all should call me sometime and tell Jonah, Denise and your aunt I said hello."

She leaned towards me and gave me the warmest hug. We looked at each other, smiled and said good-bye.