Adults to blame for children’s behaviour

The sound of children blaspheming in public and acting in ways no child should, can be said to be a result of both media exposure and a lack of parenting skills, said Children’s Commissioner Sonia Camilleri.

During an interview with this newspaper (see below), Mrs Camilleri explained that both these elements have a hand in some children’s out-of-character behaviour, although the attitudes and behaviour of adults are at the root of the problem.
“Things like the festas do not help the situation, where children as young as seven have been seen swigging from bottles of beer and swearing,” she said.
Upon witnessing this behaviour, one must consider whether the children have come up with these things themselves or whether they are simply imitating the adults around them, the children’s commissioner continued.
Mrs Camilleri explained that she believes the attitude and behaviour of grown-ups are the root of the problem. A thrust on parenting courses can remedy this situation, but unfortunately those who really need to be educated often stay away.
“Usually the converted are those who attend courses and talks organised at schools,” she said, when these are things that should be targeting the people who really need to learn how to bring up their children and be aware that their behaviour affects those around them, especially the young. 

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Angele Spiteri Paris speaks to Children’s Commissioner Sonia Camilleri about issues children have to face in contemporary society and her view on how these can be tackled

What were your main goals when you were appointed Children’s Commissioner and how far do you feel you have succeeded in achieving them?

The French term for my position is le defenseur des enfants – a defender of children, and this is the definition I think best describes my role. Children need someone at the national level to defend them and to safeguard and protect their rights.
A regular consultant to Malta on children’s matters, Professor Jane Allgate, described a Children’s Commissioner as “a thorn in the flesh of all those who would trample on children’s rights.” I like this definition and according to it, I believe I am doing my job.
It is a very satisfying job in fact, especially when the appreciation comes directly from the children themselves. I recently found an article about myself on the website of the Malta Skateboarders United and I was very happy to see how these young people know of my work and have been affected positively by it.

Despite this positive feedback, some children are often too young to be aware that they are being helped, and in the case of the unborn, they certainly cannot know that there is someone in my position working towards protecting their rights.
When I was appointed I was aware that there is a lot of work to be done. The Commissioner for Children Act is very extensive, and I definitely am not fulfilling all the functions as laid down in the Act, mainly due to a lack of human and financial resources.

Children seem to be growing up at a much faster rate than they did 10 years ago. What do you think is the reason behind this, and do you feel something must be done about it?

This phenomenon may be connected to the good and bad affects of the media. Due to television and the internet, information is much more readily available and children, being inquisitive by nature, absorb everything they are exposed to. This is why I am insisting on media education in all schools.
This way, children would be given the tools to filter all they are being exposed to. Unfortunately, this is one of my appeals that has not yet been addressed. Children are not prepared to handle and cope with everything that they are exposed to on the media and more education could help with this.

In the light of this, children are coming face-to-face with the adult world at a much younger age. Until what age do you think minors should be considered children?

Minors are children until their 18th birthday, according to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In one of the presentations given during the opening seminar on Children with Very Challenging Behaviour, the assistant manager of the youth section in prison noted that nowadays some children are committing crimes beyond their years.
On the other hand, however, children are also achieving things that are beyond their years. This July, a group of young Maltese students were invited over to South America to exhibit their proposal on how to monitor and reduce the emissions from cars on our roads.

One of the positive effects of the media, in fact has been the exposure to a far greater amount of knowledge than other generations have had. This knowledge has included cultural, scientific and creative fields. This, together with the vast choice of subjects at secondary and tertiary level has opened our young people’s world immensely and is encouraging them to mature much earlier.
The fact that they mature on an intellectual level, however, does not necessarily mean that they have matured at the same rate on the emotional and psychological level.
One mistake that we adults make is that because children seem “older”, we think that they no longer need love, or expressions of affection. We forget that, like all of us, children need affection, even more so because of their age.
Their right to be loved can be seen, in fact as the over-riding spirit of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Very young children can often be heard blaspheming in public and acting the way no child should act. Do you think this is once again a result of media exposure or does it also point to a lack of parenting skills?

I would say it is a bit of both. The atmosphere in festa marches is also not helping the situation. Children as young as seven have been seen swinging bottles of beer and swearing. Yet, one must question if it is the children who actually come up with this behaviour, or whether they are simply imitating the adults they see around them.
I believe the grown-ups’ attitudes and behaviour may be at the root of this problem and a thrust on parenting courses could help address it. Unfortunately, those who attend the courses given and the talks organised at schools are often the converted, whereas those who really need them fail to turn up. These courses should really be mandatory.

How early do we need to start educating our children?

Education is needed from the crib stage. Some say from the womb.
There is an excellent headmistress, whom I would rate as being one of the best in Malta, who takes an interest in children almost as soon as they are born. When she finds out that a child is born in her village, she contacts the local parish priest and the local council as well as the family. She then suggests that the child, from a very early age, is encouraged by the family to take an interest in stories, songs and other learning activities.
Therefore, by the time the child is three, he or she will already have a positive attitude towards learning.

In the field of law, do you think anything should be changed to further protect the rights of the child?

Clearly the lack of a Children’s Act is strongly felt, and I feel it is a big disappointment for Malta and Maltese society.
However, in one specific field at least, the Domestic Violence Act is going to put many things right. Up to now, the perpetrator was often ending up with the privileges he was accustomed to, whereas the victims had to find a place in some shelter, but things are going to be very different now.
With regard to children in court, the starting of the family court has been an excellent step in the right direction. I am also happy to say that there are now two judges in this court. It still needs many more resources, however, so as to be able to function properly. Mediation processes and the appointment of Child Advocates are also very good, but they are still in the initial stages, and are still having teething problems.

It is well known that Malta receives an influx of illegal immigrants. In the case of the minors, do you think they are being handled well?

The fact that the minors are no longer being kept in detention is a big step forward, since children must be treated as children first, and then as asylum-seekers or immigrants.
The problem still lies in the care of the unaccompanied minors who will usually be teenagers. They will often be very intelligent young men and women whose development has been stunted. I believe not enough is being done for them. They must be helped more to study or to find a job, even on a temporary basis. We are definitely not giving them the security they so desperately need.
Refugee and asylum seeker children in schools are rightly being accepted by the Maltese children as friends. They have a lot to offer them in terms of a different culture, and also bring with them an experience of suffering that we can all learn from. However, their lack of integration in the educational system is a cause for concern.

Do you think the internet is safe enough for children or is there need for more filtering?

The main problem the internet has caused is that children have caught onto it much faster than their parents have, and this has put the adults at a disadvantage. In schools, all computers are heavily filtered but at home, parents need to know how to handle this. We need to empower parents to check what their children are logging onto and whom they are chatting with.
The internet phenomenon is also being used to bully younger children. In schools, a younger child would be told to log onto a website containing offending material and if the day after they do not tell their bullies what they saw on the site, they are bullied further.
Filtering internet usage is something families with children of different ages have to deal with. More needs to be done to deal with this dilemma. If some of the children in a household have reached adulthood, while others are still at a tender age, the computer cannot simply be blocked for everyone, but the younger ones must still be protected.

Much had been said about your reaction to IVF. What is you position at present?

My main concern is the destruction and freezing of embryos. When the Social Affairs Committee was drawing up the report to be tabled in parliament, I can say I was very glad that the position of Children’s Commissioner had been created. In this way, someone was there to speak on behalf of the children.
I gave my contribution always keeping the children in mind as the priority. I was pleased to see that since my intervention, people seemed to realise that when talking about IVF, we are discussing human life, not just treatments and procedures.
I also believe not enough studies have been made on the effects the treatment will have on the children that are eventually born, especially where multiple births are concerned. In my opinion, the wisest decision would be to wait until more research is done and more is known about the treatment and its consequences.

What is your opinion on the treatment if only one embryo is fertilised?

This would be the next best thing. Since there seems to be a consensus to regulate in favour of IVF, fertilising and implanting just one egg is definitely a big improvement on the procedures used up till now. This will definitely close the door on some of my major concerns, namely the freezing and wastage of embryos and multiple births.

Angele Spiteri Paris
29 August 2005

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