|
To cure family ills, men must again find fathering - not just paternity to be masculine
On Father's Day, our community, state and nation remain at risk from forces other than terrorism. Fatherhood is blossoming in many homes but is totally absent in others. The result is generations of young people growing up without the influence of fathers and young males in particular not understanding fatherhood and what is expected of them as they become fathers. According to The National Fatherhood Initiative:
The Fatherhood Initiative, about which we have written previously, is dedicated to reversing the trend, all the while noting it won't be easy. Fathers make unique and irreplaceable contributions to the lives of their children. They are more than part-time substitutes for mothers. They cannot be replaced by child-support money or mentors. Children need their fathers. Second, we have to state the truth that men are more likely to be responsible fathers in the context of committed and legal marriages. In other words, divorce is not OK. Thirdly, we must stop suggesting divorce can somehow be good or neutral for children. It once was considered a virtue to remain together for the sake of the kids. That changed, with a belief that separation was better. Data and studies debunk the myth. So does common sense. In most instances, children are better off with married parents even if the marriage is an unhappy one than when their parents divorce. Even in an era when government solutions are considered things of the past, government has a role to play. Not the least of the requirements might be a simple one used in some courts today: requiring parents to attend a course on the impact of divorce on children. The real solution, however, is not with government. It is with the society that has produced a tragic redefinition of fatherhood and masculinity. As has been noted by more than one observer: Men will not move back into the family until our culture reconnects masculinity and fatherhood, until men come to see fathering not just paternity as the fullest expression of manhood. The media have a role to play. The job of
communicators is to do a better job of reflecting good, wise and
responsible fathers. They are everywhere. And they are major models of
masculinity as sure as they are loving fathers. Separating fatherhood
and masculinity is a cultural course that must be reversed.
|
