Mulhern: put ‘men' back in mentoring

It's time to put the “men” into mentoring, Michigan First Gentleman Daniel G. Mulhern said Thursday afternoon in a phone interview. Gov. Jennifer Granholm's husband says their “experience with mentoring has enriched our family's life as well as the lives” of their mentees.

Mulhern cites a recent study released by Kahle Research Solutions Inc. that shows just 33 percent of Michigan mentors are men. Eighty percent of the prison population is male.

The study also showed that while 36 percent of mentees are children of color, only 24 percent of mentors are people of color - a disparity creating a dilemma for mentoring programs trying to match children with mentors from the same ethnic and gender backgrounds.

Mentoring programs from across the state have expressed the desire to put “men” back into mentoring. Many programs are not enrolling boys because there are no male mentors available. This is a missed opportunity for everyone who stands to benefit from mentoring.

“One of the messages we're trying to get through,” Mulhern said, “...our problem with men volunteering is they think it's teaching or counseling - relationship sort of stuff that they're not trained for. Women have more of a sense of themselves as nurturers. It's just important to be consistent and to be a friend. Men can do what they do - change the oil in the car, play basketball, hunt and fish, pick up a hammer” because so many of the mentees are growing up without male role models in female-headed households.

Though he took his new mentee to a Pistons game, activities are not about money, he stressed, but giving someone some of your time exclusively, which “always ends up being quality time that makes you a better parent,” too. “Personally,” he said, “I'd like to see us add 5,000 mentors.” Mulhern said 30,000 children are mentored now. In August, 11,700 mentors represented an increase of 2,500 from the year before.

“Our goal is to spread an epidemic of mentoring,” Mulhern said, “with someone to champion every child. I think we're picking up momentum.”

Mulhern bases the 5,000 on a rule of thumb that says that for every 10 people who expresses an interest in mentoring, one is ultimately matched with a child. Half a million Michigan kids need mentors, he said. “Unless we pay closer attention” to troubled boys, “we're in for a problem.”

Some start as young as 6, depending on whether a program is school- or community-based. He and the governor work with a Big Brothers Big Sisters Lunch Buddies program in the Lansing area.

With a 75-year track record, Big Brothers Big Sisters is the “granddaddy” of mentoring, Mulhern said. Michigan State University Extension offers 4-H for youth development. Granholm started with Detroit's VIP (Volunteers in Prevention), which now works with incarcerated parents.

Mulhern was in Flint Jan. 19 and met a 20-year mentor. Relationships can be long-lasting, with mentors becoming godparents or best man in a wedding. He got interested in mentoring 30 years ago in 1976 after graduating from University of Detroit High School because “I had so many great people in my life.”

His wife declared January Mentoring Month and called on people around the state to step forward and mentor youngsters in their community. The governor's proclamation coincides with observance of January as National Mentoring Month. “Mentoring transforms the lives of children and adults,” Granholm said. “By strengthening our children through mentoring, we are building a stronger future for them, our communities and our great state.” She created the Mentor Michigan Initiative Mulhern now leads while attorney general.

“In 1999, our kids were 8, 7 and 1. I said, ‘You're driving 90 miles to work. I know you're smart, but you're learning to be attorney general and your idiot husband just started a business. Is now the time to start mentoring a kid?' ”

But the girl the governor mentored for 3 1/2 years, who was adopted by a stepsister in Georgia after her mother died, “had an extraordinary impact on our two girls,” Mulhern said.

Likewise, Chrissean, an 11-year-old fifth grader the first gentleman mentored, “became like a big brother to our son, Jack, 8. He had no older brother and Chrissean was frustrated as a picked-on son. They had an amazing relationship,” although beyond anecdotal evidence, research shows that an amazing 99 percent would recommend the experience to others.

“We're talking about changing the world not one life at a time, but two lives at a time,” Mulhern said.

As part of mentoring month, Granholm, Mulhern, Dennis Archer, the former Detroit mayor who grew up in Cassopolis, and Detroit Pistons player Chauncey Billups have been featured in televised public service announcements promoting mentoring.

The first gentleman and the governor encourage mentors across the state to celebrate by recruiting their friends and family. Additionally, the Michigan Community Service Commission, which Mulhern chairs, has program information and resources on the Web site, www.mentormichigan.org. Or, call 1-800-VOLUNTEER. Mentor Michigan is managed by the Michigan Community Service Commission (www.michigan.gov/mcsc or 517/335-4295).

Mulhern said he's “always thrilled” to see January designated Mentoring Month because the first month is “goal-setting time,” a “chance for people to say, ‘In January 2007 I could be in a situation of having had tremendous impact on the life of a youth.' We've been at this for the three years since Jennifer was inaugurated in 2003. There's a fantastic network of mentoring providers who have agreed on and articulated a set of standards that are pretty high.” Among them are recruiting and training systems.

Mulhern said it was also important to create a “closure system” when a match ends so that the mentee is not disappointed again by “someone quitting on them,” but can move ahead.

There is also a strong recommendation in place for background checks to guard against “anyone wanting to mentor for all the wrong reasons in the world,” such as child predators. There is no statutory requirement, but 89 percent conduct checks. “We're trying to drive that upwards,” he said.

To Mulhern, mentoring is a proven “powerful crime prevention strategy,” with those for whom such an investment is made proving “six to seven times less likely to re-enter the juvenile justice system with mentoring intervention. It improves school attendance and grades. The most important thing we see is that problem behavior means they're not buying into mainstream rules. Mentoring helps them have positive relationships with the school system and authority figures in general.”

“One of the most promising things” he sees developing is a mentoring program for young adults “aging out” of the foster care system.

John Eby
20 January 2006

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