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Where have all the fun times gone?
Average just isn’t good enough anymore when it comes
to raising our children. It is impossible to spend as much time as I
have around the arenas, play fields and gymnasiums of today and not be
aware that there are many more parents treating their kids like
mini-adults than ever before. Such intense focus on over achievement is,
it seems, a growing trend among those who demand more of those who play.
I totally endorse the medical professions claim that too much
organization and adult pressure on child athletes can lead to a range of
emotional and physical problems in the early teen years. If anything,
however, the situation could worsen by economic insecurity, stress, and
the pervasive need of some parents to bask in the reflective glory of
their kids. With so many rewards available to those who make it, when so
many are trying to hang on to what they already have, the result is
parents seeking more control over their children’s lives.
It is the style of this generation - an obsession with
highly organized games, practices, structures and achievements. Thus we
see more activities with coaches, referees and regimentation, and less
creative and independent play in green spaces, driveways and backyards.
The parents who produce and direct their children’s dreams associate
down time, time alone, with falling behind.
Whether it seems to make sense or not, kids are
encouraged to play hockey not only in winter, but in spring leagues,
summer camps and hockey schools. Consider for a moment - there are more
that 525,000 registered in minor hockey in this country, and less than
one half of one percent will ever play on a minor professional team,
never mind the NHL. Think of minor hockey as a lottery, then, with
hundreds of thousands of parents believing their meal ticket is the one
that will beat the odds. That’s why high performance summer hockey
schools are growing so fast, too fast, complete with profit motivated
operators - and burnout for many of the kids.
What has happened to the childhood mix of hockey,
soccer and baseball and those pick-up games in the street and backyard
which added so much to the stars of the past as the rinks they played
in? The dry land training that kids acquire from participating in
soccer, baseball, tennis, swimming etc., in the summer will further
develop the complete young athlete and make him/her better conditioned
to face the season ahead, in whatever activity they choose to
participate.
This drive to be the best is a detriment to the mass
of house league players as well. There’s no guarantee even there that
life perspectives are necessarily clear. Youth teams, in all sports,
start out with the premise that teams should be balanced early, so that
in theory each player has an equal chance to participate and win a fair
share of games. That’s the way the system is supposed to work, but some
coaches need remedial training in respecting the meaning of fairness. We
are all aware of the loopholes that are found and the politicking that
takes place from year to year.Unfortunately this takes place in all
minor sport and too many coaches feel their mandate is to go out and
win, when every poll shows that 90 per cent of kids prefer to play on a
losing team, rather than sit on the bench, they just want to play!
The vast majority of parents that I come into contact
with have things in perspective, some accept the distortion of their
kids lives, right up to the point where the dream dies. While I disagree
with the stereotype that all of minor hockey is a puck-black hole of
ethical wilderness, I still find it amazing how grown men and women can
complicate a simple game we love so much and is so much of our social
fabric! If youth sport offers the wrong experience or teaches the wrong
values, then it has lost its purpose for our children. The winning of
trophies and tournaments should not take over the real reason why our
kids compete; fun, friendship and skill acquisition.
The curtain is just about down on this minor hockey
season, so why not get out and enjoy the final games. Watch the kids as
they play, enjoy the experience with them. Winning is not the bottom
line - no matter what others may tell you! Next week we’ll take a look
at the recent Irving Bantam Cup held in Gander, where five teams battled
for bantam bragging rights in Atlantic Canada.
That’s thirty for this week. Remember, “It’s easier to
build a child than mend an adult and an ounce of pluck is worth a ton of
luck!”
Don Winsor
19 April 2006
http://www.lportepilot.ca/index.cfm?iid=1270&sid=8995
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