Where have all the fun times gone?

Average just isn’t good enough anymore when it comes to raising our children. It is impossible to spend as much time as I have around the arenas, play fields and gymnasiums of today and not be aware that there are many more parents treating their kids like mini-adults than ever before. Such intense focus on over achievement is, it seems, a growing trend among those who demand more of those who play. I totally endorse the medical professions claim that too much organization and adult pressure on child athletes can lead to a range of emotional and physical problems in the early teen years. If anything, however, the situation could worsen by economic insecurity, stress, and the pervasive need of some parents to bask in the reflective glory of their kids. With so many rewards available to those who make it, when so many are trying to hang on to what they already have, the result is parents seeking more control over their children’s lives.

It is the style of this generation - an obsession with highly organized games, practices, structures and achievements. Thus we see more activities with coaches, referees and regimentation, and less creative and independent play in green spaces, driveways and backyards. The parents who produce and direct their children’s dreams associate down time, time alone, with falling behind.

Whether it seems to make sense or not, kids are encouraged to play hockey not only in winter, but in spring leagues, summer camps and hockey schools. Consider for a moment - there are more that 525,000 registered in minor hockey in this country, and less than one half of one percent will ever play on a minor professional team, never mind the NHL. Think of minor hockey as a lottery, then, with hundreds of thousands of parents believing their meal ticket is the one that will beat the odds. That’s why high performance summer hockey schools are growing so fast, too fast, complete with profit motivated operators - and burnout for many of the kids.

What has happened to the childhood mix of hockey, soccer and baseball and those pick-up games in the street and backyard which added so much to the stars of the past as the rinks they played in? The dry land training that kids acquire from participating in soccer, baseball, tennis, swimming etc., in the summer will further develop the complete young athlete and make him/her better conditioned to face the season ahead, in whatever activity they choose to participate.

This drive to be the best is a detriment to the mass of house league players as well. There’s no guarantee even there that life perspectives are necessarily clear. Youth teams, in all sports, start out with the premise that teams should be balanced early, so that in theory each player has an equal chance to participate and win a fair share of games. That’s the way the system is supposed to work, but some coaches need remedial training in respecting the meaning of fairness. We are all aware of the loopholes that are found and the politicking that takes place from year to year.Unfortunately this takes place in all minor sport and too many coaches feel their mandate is to go out and win, when every poll shows that 90 per cent of kids prefer to play on a losing team, rather than sit on the bench, they just want to play!

The vast majority of parents that I come into contact with have things in perspective, some accept the distortion of their kids lives, right up to the point where the dream dies. While I disagree with the stereotype that all of minor hockey is a puck-black hole of ethical wilderness, I still find it amazing how grown men and women can complicate a simple game we love so much and is so much of our social fabric! If youth sport offers the wrong experience or teaches the wrong values, then it has lost its purpose for our children. The winning of trophies and tournaments should not take over the real reason why our kids compete; fun, friendship and skill acquisition.

The curtain is just about down on this minor hockey season, so why not get out and enjoy the final games. Watch the kids as they play, enjoy the experience with them. Winning is not the bottom line - no matter what others may tell you! Next week we’ll take a look at the recent Irving Bantam Cup held in Gander, where five teams battled for bantam bragging rights in Atlantic Canada.

That’s thirty for this week. Remember, “It’s easier to build a child than mend an adult and an ounce of pluck is worth a ton of luck!”

Don Winsor
19 April 2006

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