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Witnessing violence has serious effect on children
The effects that witnessing domestic violence has on a
child can reach well into adulthood without the proper help to deal with
the issue. Brenda Brochu, executive director of Peace River Regional
Womens’ Shelter, says these issues are now coming to light. “This is a
very important issue and we’re starting to get some solid research on
this. One of the things that have been found out is that children are
just as traumatized by watching their parent, usually their mother,
being assaulted as they are if they are directly assaulted themselves,”
she said.
Brochu says though there is no direct evidence that a
large percentage of children who grew up in violent homes are
predisposed to violence, statistics show that a large number of adults
who are violent had abusive parents. “When you look at the backgrounds
of men who are violent with their partners, 80 per cent of them grew up
in a violent home,” she said. Curtis Deganais, the man charged in
connection with the killing of two RCMP officers in Saskatchewan last
June, grew up with an abusive parent -- according to family friends.
Brochu said this shows the far reaching after effects of witnessing
violence as a child.
“This man (Deganais) who is wanted in connection with
the murder of the police officers witnessed violence between his parents
all the time he was growing up,” she said. James Rozko, who allegedly
shot and killed four RCMP officers in Mayerthorpe last year, also grew
up in an abusive home. “So we have an incidence there of somebody very
much influenced by witnessing abuse,” said Brochu, “You can see how
(domestic violence) can really contribute to warping a person and making
that person dangerous to others.”
The need to identify children who witness domestic
violence has become a priority for Child and Family Services. “Now for
the first time, we’ve had some changes in the child welfare legislation,
there’s now a requirement to report to child welfare if you believe
children are witnessing violence between the parents. This didn’t used
to have to be reported and often there wasn’t very much done if there
wasn’t a direct assault on the child,” said Brochu.
Dennis Whitford, with Peace River’s Child and Family
Services, said Region 8 has established a multi-agency approach to
dealing with the problem. “We are working as part of a family violence
collaborative,” he said, “There is a community-based approach to
addressing the problem in this area.” The group will look at the basic
issues and develop strategies to deal with them. “What it consists of is
bringing together a number of agencies in Peace River and area that will
meet and continue to meet on an ongoing basis in order to meet the needs
arising out of family violence,” said Whitford. Yaddi Singh, a mental
health therapist with the student health program in Peace River, says
there is often a connection between witnessing family violence as a
child and incorporating that into personal behavior.
“The child who grows up and sees this angry and
violent display, it becomes normalized for them. That type of behavior,
the angry acting out, the yelling the screaming all those things become
part of the normal set for the child,” he said. “They may default to
that type of behavior, when stressed or emotional, because it’s the way
they have seen other people in their lives solve their problems.” “What
the adolescent then starts to do is start to emulate the thinking
patterns of the abusive partner.”
Younger children may blame themselves for the violence
that occurs at home, especially if an argument starts over something
relating to the child, such as discipline or behavior issues. But at
adolescence, the youth tends to take on another viewpoint. “Adolescents
who are going through another developmental stage may stop blaming
themselves. So then they start to blame the victim in the situation,” he
said, “And it’s much safer to blame that person as opposed to blaming
the abuser, [where] there may be huge ramifications for that person to
do that.”
It is not easy to identify if a child’s behavior is
due to an abusive family relationship. “There are so many variables when
it comes to children and that makes it almost impossible to say that any
particular child is going to present in a certain way. There is no set
pattern when it comes to this because you bring so many different
variables into a family situation,” said Singh. He said there have been
attempts to create a general understanding of how children react to
witnessing family violence. Many of those characteristics were based on
gender. But he said, with the gender roles being broken down in today’s
culture, some of these generalizations are no longer valid. “In the past
there was a kind of a strong division between males being the abusers
and females being the victims.
Now what we’re seeing is more females being abusive,”
he said, “and we’re starting to recognize that.” Singh provides a long
litany of adverse behavior that children can develop as a result of
witnessing family violence. “I just think about all the possible general
effects. You may get failure to thrive, they won’t be able to sleep,
they may have trouble eating. Just feelings of general illness. They
have difficulty bonding with care givers because they can’t trust them.
So you end up with a very unhappy child,” said Singh. This in turn
generates what is called a negative feedback cycle. “The child is so
unhappy and so scared that he tends to push people away. Caregivers,
teachers and peers may take that the wrong way.
That makes them angrier and more insecure and more
aggressive.” The problem can begin to feed on itself to the point where
psychological and physical side effects appear together. “If you grow up
in a home where there’s lots of negative messages being sent and you’re
pulled into that whole psychological mess, then you can attribute a lot
of those negatives to yourself. You feel uncertain that you’re capable
of changing the world. You feel uncertain that you’re going to be able
to get along with people in a healthy way. You feel fearful about social
interactions and all these things will create another feedback cycle
that will isolate the child more and more,” he said.
To begin healing, the child needs to be assured they
are not the ones causing the violent behavior in their parents. “What
all children who are exposed to violent or abusive environments need is
to understand they are not responsible for the violence or for their
parents unhappiness,” said Singh, “They need to know that they
themselves are lovable and that they are capable of being loved and they
deserve to love others.” There is also importance in knowing they are
not alone. “They need to understand that they’re not the only children
who go through that, ”he said, “to realize that others have gone through
this kind of a difficult life and that they recover from it.”
Beyond that, a secure home free of confrontation.
“Certainly they’re going to need physical safety, and they will also
need to know who the people are they can go to when they are feeling
unsafe,” said Singh. A routine has to be re-established to help with the
healing process. “Establish as much stability as possible, regular
routines, regular meal times, eating really healthy. Develop some coping
strategies too, whether it’s exercise or playing or finding a way to
have fun or finding people to talk to, that’s very important. That will
create that predictability for them in an unpredictable situation,” said
Singh. There will have to be a process where the child will get a better
understanding of resolving conflicts. “Children who grow up in homes
like this are going to need to relearn how to get along with other
people in non-violent ways.”
Mark Rieder
8 August 2006
http://www.prrecordgazette.com/story.php?id=247232
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