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NEW ZEALAND
Making young men count
There is one issue above all others that has caused
me, as Minister for Youth Affairs, growing concern over the last couple
of years. That issue is the identity, role and wellbeing of men — and in
particular young men — in our society.
I believe that the pendulum of political correctness
has swung too far, to where as men we always hear about everything that
is supposedly wrong with us, and everything that is supposedly our
fault, but we rarely celebrate our achievements and ourselves for who we
are — men. I also believe that the attitudes towards men that are
prevalent in our society are in fact highly dangerous to the wellbeing
of men, and of young men in particular:
I am concerned as a Kiwi male myself, as a political
leader and perhaps most importantly I am concerned because I am the
father of young sons. Here are some of the reasons why:
EDUCATION
Boys are four times more likely than girls to be stood down or suspended
from school, or be identified as having behavioural problems. Girls
outperform boys at all levels of our school system, and the gap between
boys' and girls' achievement is one of the largest of any developed
nation. Sixty-three per cent of girls earned NCEA level 1 in 2002,
compared to 54 per cent of boys. Boys are more likely to leave school
with no qualifications — and have a consistently higher rate of youth
unemployment than girls. Of the top 10 ranked schools in New Zealand,
seven are girls' schools, two are co-ed and just one is a boys' school.
ROAD ACCIDENTS AND FATALITIES
Young men are five times more likely to cause
a fatal car crash than young women. Young men are twice as likely to be
killed in a car crash than young women, and three times as likely to be
injured. Men are four times more likely than women to be drink drivers
involved in fatal crashes.
JUSTICE
Men are 22 times more likely than women to be imprisoned. Men are four
times more likely than women to appear before our criminal justice
system. Women appearing before New Zealand courts are less likely than
men to be convicted or sentenced to imprisonment, and are more likely to
have their cases discharged, receive shorter sentences and be granted
early release on parole. The Family Court has a tendency to award
custody of children to women, rather than men, and men are much more
likely to be denied access to their children. Young men are more likely
than any other demographic group to be victims of violence.
HEALTH AND QUALITY OF LIFE
On average men die five years earlier than women Men are four-and-a-half
times more likely than women to kill themselves. Half of all males aged
15-24 report hazardous drinking habits — drinking behaviour with high
risk of physical or mental damage. Men are more likely to die of cancer
(the leading cause of death in New Zealand) than women. They are also
more likely to die of heart disease (the second most common cause of
death).
Those are just some of the very worrying symptoms that
suggest than our men are not doing too well at all. These are not just
aberrations or one-offs — they are part of a consistent trend. In the
last 30 years we have seen the collapse of the authority of churches, of
discipline in schools and of the authority figure of the Kiwi father. We
have not replaced these sources of male authority, guidance and support
with alternatives, and their absence has brought us significant
difficulties as men.
When I was growing up, I was imbued with a set of
standards and a code of conduct that was not only for my benefit, but
was also to the benefit of the community I lived in. If I stepped
outside those standards, I knew it, and I knew it was wrong. Throughout
the massive social changes of the 1960s, 70s and 80s, men's role shifted
dramatically. Social changes, most notably the increasing role of women
in the paid workforce, followed by the massive economic changes wrought
by Rogernomics in the 1980s, changed our society, and they changed men's
role within our society. 1950s and early 60s New Zealand society was in
many ways a simple life, and men's role within it was simply defined.
Dad's role was to go out to work, and bring home the brown envelope to
Mum on payday. These days the pay doesn't get handed over in brown
envelopes; Mum is almost as likely as Dad to be earning her own pay, and
sometimes there is no job to go to, and no pay packet at all. Dad used
to be the family disciplinarian, the driver of the family car, the guy
who kicked a rugby ball around with the kids from time to time, but
didn't take much of a hands-on role in the day-to-day care; the guy who
mowed the lawns but didn't get involved with the housework, and the guy
in charge of the barbecue who you never saw in the kitchen – unless his
wife wasn't around to fetch him another beer from the fridge.
So, yes, obviously there were some downsides to our
accepted role at that time — particularly in the impact our role had on
others — but we knew where we stood. Today we don't know where we stand
as men, and unless we draw up a new roadmap for ourselves, we risk
having a whole generation of Kiwi males losing their way.
In not acknowledging the shift in society and the
consequent shift in males' role and identity, we deny their presence and
their responsibilities — to family, community and society, and we have
created a huge vaccuum in their ethics and conduct. This isn't about
being anti-feminism, or anti-gay or anti-women; it is about being
pro-male. This is about positively affirming the role of men in modern
society. I am speaking for Kiwi heterosexual males simply because that
is what I am and we need to speak up for ourselves. We need to champion
ourselves.
Our society has embraced the concept that girls can do
anything, but what can boys do? We have a Women's Affairs Ministry to
specifically advance matters relating to women. We also have ministries
of Pacific Island Affairs, Maori Affairs and Youth Affairs, but as yet
we have no Ministry of Men's Affairs. The thinking is that we can look
after ourselves. The problem is, too often we can't. We need a culture
shift that allows us to value ourselves and look after ourselves more
effectively. I don't have all the solutions – that's why we need to have
this debate: to find out what the solutions might be. We do need to give
young men an alternative to the reckless, dangerous and violent
behaviour that can make some of them their own worst enemy. How easy is
it for young men to turn to their mates, their peers, male role models,
brothers and fathers to express their feelings if they are hurt or angry
or simply not coping? I suspect it is not very easy at all.
It is time to re-evaluate the "he'll be right,"
mentality for the 21st Century, because if our young men are choosing
suicide in large numbers, then clearly they are not all right at all.
This isn't about simply turning back the clock to what we may remember
nostalgically as the heyday of the Kiwi bloke. We have to re-invent the
Kiwi male. We have to figure out what our legitimate role and place is
in a new millennium.
What I do know is that it is OK to be male. It is OK
to be a red-blooded Kiwi heterosexual male. It is OK to have a male
bonding session with the boys. It is OK to scream and shout and jump up
and down when the All Black scrum powers over the top of the Poms. But
just as importantly it is OK to pick up and love and cuddle our babies
and take them to the park. It is OK to be assertive – but not to be ugly
and violent. It is OK to intervene, to stand up and take ownership
against bad role models and bad behaviour of other men. It is OK to
acknowledge that men can bind together the fabric of family, of
community and of country. It is OK for us fathers to ensure that our
sons are imbued with hope and an appetite for adventure. Some people
have suggested that boys-only classes or schools, using "male-friendly"
teaching methods, and providing more male teachers may help boys'
learning and identity. I applaud the announcement by my colleague,
Education Minister Trevor Mallard, that a group will be set up to
support effective teaching of boys. However I believe the issue is wider
than just educational achievement as a stand-alone issue, and I think we
need to also be addressing the wider picture.
Another suggestion has been to better promote positive
male role models who may lead and guide by their example. We can still
learn much from our traditional heroes, our sports champions - our
Hillarys, our Meads, our Lomus – but maybe we should widen the brief to
also include heroes and role models from outside sports. When one in
three boys live apart from their natural fathers, and less than 18 per
cent of primary teachers are male, the availability of men to whom boys
can look up to and seek guidance is a real problem. Perhaps most
importantly it is fathers who have the most important role to play in
this. I can't think of anyone who influenced me as much as my own
father. So what do you do if your father is not present in your life at
all? What if they are there physically, but absent emotionally? Or if
they are abusive and violent? What can we do to make sure that fathers
are actively and positively involved in the lives of their sons?
We urgently need to support our young men better, to
make the most of their potential, to better acknowledge them, and most
importantly to allow them to be fully succeeding and contributing
members of our society. We need to make sure that as we advance as a
society, we take young men with us.
Men and boys count. It is time we stood up to be
counted.
John Tamihere
30 July 2004
http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/PA0407/S00517.htm
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