LABRADOR
Violence among our youth is out of hand
Within a one-week period in Happy Valley-Goose Bay there were two separate incidents of violent fistfights between teenage females. A couple of children, who witnessed these two acts of violence, couldn't believe the severity and brutality of the incidents.
The media has reported on different incidents in larger cities, where acts of violence perpetrated by youth lead to death. We don't think incidents like that can or would happen in our small community of Happy Valley-Goose Bay, but think again, violence is violence no matter where you live and anyone can be at risk.
Of these two fistfights, one was reported to the RCMP while the other wasn't. So it's safe to say, maybe two of the females will learn a lesson while the other two may continue to think what happened was OK.
Since when does violence solve problems and why are our youth so angry? There are many reasons for this, but really what it boils down to is parents. Sure, there are many who blame the media, TV, movies, internet and video games, but these are nothing more than scapegoats for the real issue, which is lack of morals, values and parenting.
A report released by Health Canada stated factors that can help reduce the risk of youth violence are providing children with a nonabusive home; strong, early childhood attachment to caregiver(s) and good parental supervision; positive adult role models; and completion of high school and post-secondary school.
As a parent, it's tough to sit back and listen to someone say, your child's problems are your fault, but we all must own up to our responsibilities. Yes we can only control what happens in our homes and yes society does play a role in who our children become, but ultimately children learn from their parents. Providing a stable home that is violence free, aids in the decisions your children will make when they are away from you.
From the age of three to ten, children are sponges, they see and hear everything. Showing them healthy ways to solve problems and deal with stress and pressure is how they will learn to solve their own problems when they get older. Sometimes this can be hard when parents are trapped in abusive relationships, but there are so many great community groups aimed to help break the cycle of abuse.
With youth violence there are factors that can make a child at risk of violence such as, gender, income level, ethnic origin, family violence and harsh parental discipline. Violence among youth has also been linked to the increased use of drugs and alcohol, eating disorders, tobacco use and mental health problems.
Young women, who suffer from abuse generally, turn their anger inwards developing self-destructive behaviour such as self-mutilation and eating disorders. Young men generally turn their outwards by being violent towards others. For both genders that experience violence, generally many will attempt suicide.
As a parents and role models for children, we really have to think about the choices we make and how we deal with day-to-day life. How many times have we heard a parent say, "If you do that I'm going to kick your butt." Well although the parent doesn't mean it and thinks that statement is harmless, it's not, it's emotional abuse. Threatening physical violence, regardless of its true intention, is emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse is defined as, insulting or ridiculing someone or subjecting that person to other forms of verbal humiliation; threatening to use physical violence or murder; throwing, smashing, kicking or destroying the property of others; stalking and monitoring another's activities; displaying jealousy or possessiveness; and sexist, racist and homophobic verbal abuse. Such abuse is used to control other people's behaviour and place limits on their freedom. Of all the forms of youth violence, emotional abuse is the most common.
There have been parents or grandparents that have said to a child, "If you don't behave I'm going to get the wooden spoon and tan your hide." Although the threat is not serious, threatening to use an object to harm someone is physical abuse. Physical abuse is defined as, pushing, grabbing, shoving, slapping, kicking, punching, hitting with an object, choking, using or threatening to use a weapon against someone, and murder. These assaults may cause both physical and emotional harm.
The last type of abuse is sexual abuse, which most people relate to touching. There are many ways to sexually abuse a person, without actually touching them. Sexual abuse is defined as, any unwanted coercive sexual contact, usually as a result of verbal pressure, threats of physical force, or actual physical force. These forms of violent behaviour can cause physical and emotional harm.
Parents and community leaders need to ensure they are constantly setting good examples for children. Children need to understand that violence in any form is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
Although controlling how your child acts when they are not in your care is tough, how you deal with any bad behaviour is what will dictate how they act the next time they are in that situation.
Editorial
12 May 2008