Instilling a purpose in children ... critical but not easy
Young people are interesting, and no two of them are alike. Parents can raise several children in the same family nearly identically yet have them turn out totally different. Children, fortunately, are not robots. Hence it is foolish to claim child-rearing solutions that are universally successful. With this caveat in mind this column will discuss some ideas to help young people develop a focus or a direction for their lives.
Finding direction is increasingly important as has been noted by researcher William Damon from Stanford University. In his study called The Path to Purpose Damon found that only 20 percent of young people ages 12 to 26 have a clear purpose in mind for their future. The highest percentage of youth (31 percent) fall into a second category labeled “the Dabblers”.
Young people in this group often try many potential pursuits but do not dedicate themselves to any of them. Dabblers may have no clear focus but are in a better position than a third group that Damon calls, “the Dreamers.” About 25 percent of youth can be so characterized. Dreamers imagine themselves doing great things in the world but are not motivated enough to do what is necessary to make these visions a reality. Perhaps an even more troublesome category of youth is called “the Disengaged.” These young people have no real idea about their purpose nor do they care to find one.
All three of the directionless categories are troubling. Without motivation young people can float through school with limited effort or desire. They may achieve passing grades, but very little learning will take place. Effort and, as a result, learning will always be marginal until they are inspired to internalize and apply what they are taught. With such a small percentage of youth in the engaged category it is no wonder that student learning often slows as students grow older.
Also a major concern is the long term ramification for our society when youth are unmotivated about accomplishing goals and finding future success. Without a drive to achieve how much can people really accomplish for themselves and others?
This should be a great concern for our country. Therefore, it is critical to uncover ways to help youth find the interior fire of a life purpose. Can we wait until our children are no longer young to have them become contributing members of society?
Damon recommends some ways teachers in the classroom can help. These include making classroom instruction relevant to the lives of students. Helping them apply what they learn and see the connection between classroom learning and real life is critical. So too is providing youth with adult models who utilize the skills taught in the classroom to lead productive and purposeful lives, both in work and in the community.
Parents can also help by encouraging their children to explore their strengths and interests and strive to develop them. Getting young people engaged in purposeful activities that lead to future careers or lifelong interests is a valuable way for parents to help youth find life direction. Both parents and schools can help youth develop purpose by encouraging them to set goals. Such goals could include a future accomplishment or career they wish to achieve and setting the steps necessary to bring about these dreams.
Adults can also help youth find a higher purpose by encouraging service to others. Many young people have discovered talents and interests they did not realize they had through helping others. Related to this, many youth have found true satisfaction and meaning in life by moving from a self-centered focus to an other-focused one.
Paul Hillyer
5 July 2008
http://www.columbustelegram.com/articles/2008/07/05/opinion/columns/doc486ff37b5aa05889375795.txt