LZ/A/4-3
Silence and Breathing
It was new. I found where I was going, arrived an hour early, parked a few blocks away, turned off the car, practiced deep breathing, and visualized myself in a sunny clearing by a waterfall. I approached the home -- took deep breaths as I rang the doorbell. The door opened. I saw his back as he walked away. "Watch out for the fucking dog." I took a sip of coffee… moved forward… deep breathed… thinking to myself remember to breathe. "Hi Bob, you didn’t remember I was coming?" No response. Quietness filled the air … more than ten minutes passed. Bob filled the time cooking. I breathed and visualized a warmer setting, the waterfall again. Hot wisps of warm, violent air, blumented against me. After a few minutes, Bob expressed, "What the fuck do you want?" I responded, "I want you to have a say in what services you receive from Wraparound, and you haven’t… I am here to advocate for you to do that." Silence met me again, for over ten minutes -- "You angry?"-- "Yes."--" Thanks for letting me be here… and do you need help remembering the next appointment?"--"No"--"Thanks."
***
Youth called: "Hello!!!"… I told my mother that I got kicked out of summer school--- "I’m proud that you did that!!!"--- "She’s pissed."--- "What would happen if you apologized?"--- "Nothing." Silence Silence--- "I’ll try"--- "Hold on" 5 minutes pass. "She’s better I guess." --- "I’m proud."--- "You took a chance… also, I’ll see you tomorrow… thanks for the call… I’m proud"--- "Thanks" --- "Yeah"--- "Bye."
*I received a call from a youth. It was his 15th b-day. He said, "You need to come and get me Joseph….I’m at my mothers…she’s being such a bitch"
The youth explained that he was at his mother’s home because she took him to an appointment.
I pulled up to the youth’s mother’s home (he’s currently in foster placement), walked into a shouting environment, felt overwhelmed by the sharp and quick exchanges. It seemed as if neither the youth, nor the mother, were ready at that moment for a positive exchange. I sat back with my feet firmly planted so I wouldn’t get blown over by the conflict between them, and practiced deep breathing. I visualized every cell in my body. I visualized them relaxing. I breathed and centered myself, both feet firmly planted.
I expressed to the mother that it seemed difficult to deal with the anger, language and threats. I expressed my empathy with the situation. I told her I understood that she was upset that the youth wasn’t staying in school, and that she didn’t know what to do. I told the youth that he needed to stop yelling at his Mother, that it wasn’t okay. The youth and I gathered his belongings and exited the home. I thanked the mother as we left.
The youth turned to me as we drove away, and expressed that his mother just flipped him off, saying, See Joseph, I told you she was like that. I expressed that it was hard to deal with that, and that I would be hurt and angry.