As a child and youth care worker you may have heard yourself saying one (or more probably both) of the following ...

When the kids have got you running around after them and waiting on them hand and foot: "Do you think I’m running a hotel here?"

When you’ve been cutting the kids too much slack and they are getting used to the mess: "Do you think I’m running a zoo here?"

About the hotel, there is a sense in which our program does have to look straightened up and organized. For one thing, insecure kids need the predictability. For another, all kids need the sense of being looked after. And it is good when youngsters feel they can identify with a positive, good looking and successful outfit. The opposite (an erratic, non-caring and sloppy program) is frankly unhelpful and is giving fuzzy messages.

Then again, the zoo. There is also a sense in which our program has to look a bit threadbare and unsettled. For one thing, kids don’t want to live in a place which is too smart to be comfortable for them or where breaking something would arouse too much guilt. For another, every kid needs to make the connection between tasks and obvious needs – so that they feel the need to start preparing supper or tidying the rec room, not just because we say so.

We are not running a hotel or a zoo. We are running a purposeful environment which meets needs, which teaches, and which draws out the possibilities and contributions of each young person. So we never reach equilibrium and we never lose opportunities: we are always allowing tensions, facilitating solutions and celebrating successes. We take risks, sometimes things go wrong, most times kids really learn and grow.

It’s a balancing act – without a net!