PracticeHint  

To add, not subtract
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Youngsters usually get referred to our programs because some people (teachers, parents, neighbours, police) feel that they are functioning poorly — making bad decisions, putting themselves at risk, skipping responsibilities, acting aggressively or destructively — and this is often true. The adults and authority figures get to use words like unacceptable, lazy, reprehensible, anti-social, and then often conclude that the kids have too much spare time, too much television, too much freedom, too much mobility — again all of which may be true. Those in charge then characteristically impose limits, restricting freedoms, reducing privileges, curtailing leave, limiting entertainments and pleasures — hoping thereby to funnel kids back into control and ‘acceptable’ behaviour.

In truth, the youngsters who get referred to our programs are more often than not those who got too little, not too much in the way of benefits, opportunities and advantages. It may be a good exercise to work out what could be added to their lives, rather than what should be taken away. When we find ourselves (as we often do) agonising over what should be done about one of our boys or girls in trouble, it’s a good plan to ask these two questions: ‘How much longer is this youngster likely to be with us?’ — and ‘What does he or she still need in order to be able to manage adequately when the time comes to leave?’

These questions are especially helpful in putting together the ongoing "curriculum" for our work with the youngster. We get to estimate how far the youth has come towards achieving the identified goals (here we are tapping into the strengths approach), and then we can be realistic and positive in our planning about we yet have to do — to add, to strengthen ...

As child and youth care workers we are not allowed to join everyone else in simply feeling frustrated, despairing and rejecting about difficult kids. More is expected of us, especially that we should be objective and creative in working out what to do. We’re there to build, not just demand; to offer something useful, not just take away ...

To add, not subtract.