Many of us learn our craft, learn the program and learn some intervention methods – and conclude that we know quite a lot about what we are doing as child and youth care workers.

To realise how far from the truth that is, imagine now that you are having to spend a few days in another city and arrangements have been made for you to stay with a family of whom you know nothing. All you have been told is that it is a quirky family, quite large, three generations, touchy about some subjects and generally cool towards strangers. It’s a family where quite a few members have been hurt, and one in which it pays to know who’s who in the zoo.

When you have imagined that for a minute, also realise that a central principle in work with children, youth and families, is that we are admitted to their ecology; they don’t enter ours.

It’s very comfortable for us to say to new clients of our program: "This is how our place works, this is what we expect, this is what you can expect, this is the person you have to speak to about this, and this ..." It’s comfortable because we know the place and the people. It’s our place.

Imagine once again your visit to the strange family – and then think about how kids feel when they come to us. And then forget all about that, for you must again remember that they have not come to us; we are going to them. We know nothing. We are ignorant and awkward and we have a lot to learn. If we are to get to know them and understand them and respect them, we have to make a huge shift.

Away from our comfort level.