The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
Keep TalkingWhen we talk with troubled kids, we are trained to make open-ended replies, not to cut communication dead in its tracks.
"Gary, can we go down to Briar Street?"
ANSWER 1 "Yes"
ANSWER 2 "Sounds good. What are you guys hoping to do down there?"
"Where does the coach for Jamestown
leave?"
ANSWER 1 "Probably Second Street Station."
ANSWER 2 "I’m not sure ... where could we find out?"
"I’m worried about my mom."
ANSWER 1 "She’ll be fine."
ANSWER 2 "Tell me ... "
In each of these examples, the first answer is that of a "busy" person who deals with questions decisively and with seeming effectiveness – but it leaves nothing more to be said. This worker may think that the questions have been "dealt with", but sure didn’t communicate.
The second answers all invite further interaction. They deal with the question with responsibility, with engagement, and with respect ... but they also create the opportunity for further exchange. We need these opportunities.
Listen to yourself carefully next time you respond to a young person’s question – any question. Do you dismiss it efficiently in one second – or do you use your skills to make it last a little longer?
Keep talking.
