The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
There are two truths in Child and Youth Care work which
can often fight against each other. One is that amongst our most powerful
tools for guiding and working with kids are companionship and conversation:
unless we spend time with them and exchange ideas, we will have little
impact.
The other truth is that too often, however, we come from such different
backgrounds, cultures and educational experiences that we find that we have
little in common with each other. It’s our job to redress this.
In work with young people and families in difficulty, it is not enough that
you know about them. You must know them – know not only what bugs them and
hurts them and enrages them, but also what moves them, inspires them, draws
them. And you will never get to know kids at this level unless you spend
time with them and exchange ideas. What do we have to say? How do we get
started?
Always have in your pocket some of the small change of conversation. Take an
honest interest in something which each young person you work with is
interested in. Know enough to come on shift with a recollection or an
opinion of a movie, a CD, a sports event, a pastime, anything that might
help you establish what Brendtro called a "relationship beachhead". By this
he means landing on another’s shores, gaining a foothold of contact, knowing
something of the language, sowing the seeds of a dialogue, which might lead
to a follow-up encounter ... and hopefully, then, towards a relationship.
(Read Brendtro’s ideas on this*.)
Arrive on shift with some headlines or editorialising on last night’s
football match (motor race, prize fight, baseball game ...) or concert (soap
episode, school play ...) or news event (disaster, achievement, controversy
...) When you know something about skateboards, make-up, fishing, fashions,
internal combustion engines ... you can get as far as some person-to-person,
role-free conversation.
Which brings us to another truth about Child and Youth Care work: often it
is enough to get only as far as the conversation. When you and a young
person are able to talk about anything, you are both feeling part of it,
listened to, valued, functional, mutual, competent, significant ... You have
probably already achieved something important which the youngster needed
from our program.
It all starts with having something to say.
* Brendtro, L. (1969) Establishing relationship beachheads, in Trieschman,
A., Whittaker, J. and Brendtro L. The Other 23 Hours: Child care work with
emotionally disturbed children in a therapeutic milieu. New York: Aldine de
Gruyter. (Start on page 85 ...)
