The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
Yes, there is an urgency to our work. Every day a youngster has stopped along the roadside is a day we have to catch up on later. Every day spent apart from the normative activities of family, school, neighbourhood and peer group is a day's travel back. And, of course, every day spent in our program costs money – with some financial official, somewhere, shaking an impatient head.
We are ourselves often guilty of wanting to see progress immediately – and especially when we feel our authority challenged, we hear ourselves saying "Do it now!" A good exercise is to ask: "If I apply this intervention or consequence now, where will we be tomorrow with this youngster? Will he or she be better or worse? Will we have moved forward or backwards? Will the tension or hostility or anxiety be greater or less?
We do have to keep kids moving, but we are very sensitive to priorities and timing.
Melissa is having one of her really scratchy days. We know that any provocation can lead to a destructive tantrum or a chasm of sulking which can go on for hours. There may certainly be an issue which has to be raised with her, but we will lose ground if we try it today. We're not there to score a point for ourselves but carefully to build insights and strengths for her. Let's wait until tomorrow.
Cory is on the cusp of putting into practice some new learning – managing a tough interview at school, returning to an activity group he was timed out of, going home to his stepmother for lunch. We know that he needs to face the task, but we also know that he is currently in need of experiences of achievement and confidence building. So we choose not to risk a failure or an upset today which may cost us another week or even a month. Let's put it off for tomorrow.
As we facilitate young people's rebuilding work, we consider which "brick" would be best today, which is necessary, which must be prioritised, and which can wait ...
A thought for this week: The word "therapy" comes from the Greek "therapeuo" which means to wait upon.
