The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
We are all familiar with the ‘domino effect’. Boss scolds worker – worker snaps at wife – wife shouts at kid – kid kicks dog – dog bites cat ... and so on. We are even more aware (because it is often part of our basic training) of the conflict cycle (Long, 1991) whereby we have an insecure or scratchy youth – impacted by a stressful incident – has anxious or angry feelings aroused – then behaves in an inappropriate or hostile way – draws the disapproval and censure of both peers and adults – and is left with a more fragile self image, just waiting for the next occasion of stress ...
The singular privilege of Child and Youth Care workers is that, working within the life space, we get to participate in these processes and cycles; we get to be links in these chains of anger and anxiety. What would happen to the falling dominoes if one domino was glued to its place, refused to be pushed over by the others? The collapsing process would stop. What would happen to the youth in the conflict cycle if his destructive behaviour drew not reactive anger or insult, but engagement, support, teaching? The vicious circle of deteriorating self-image would be slowed. Instead of the usual downward spiral, something different would happen.
One of the central practice guidelines of the great pioneer August Aichhorn was that no worker should meet anger with anger, force with force, insult with insult. By refusing to react in kind to young people’s destructive behaviours, the adults left those kids without their maladaptive ways of interacting with others. Aichhorn recognised that this was a serious challenge to the youth, possibly resulting even in breakdown, but it was the beginning of new learning. This, of course, is the key to the conflict cycle model: adults customarily reproduce the feelings and behaviours of abusive youth, but when, in the cycle, the adult’s "turn" comes around, the adult chooses not to add to the momentum of the cycle, refuses to "join the fray" but rather to encourage more mature strengths, build greater responsibility for behaviour.
Today we will face difficult and challenging young people. When it might seem that the natural reaction is to hit back, we will remember that our role is to reverse negative cycles. We will remind ourselves ...
I am the adult.
Reference
Long, N.J. (1991). What Fritz Redl taught me about Aggression: Understanding
the Dynamics of Aggression and Counteraggression in Students and Staff, in
Morse, W.C. (Ed.) Crisis Intervention in Residential Treatment: The
Clinical Innovations of Fritz Redl. New York: The Haworth Press.
