The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
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Why is this kid here?Common enough question when we start with a new youngster in our program. But it is really two questions – which have two very different answers.
Most people answer the question historically. "He’s here because of what happened in the home and family and how the youth was affected by this and how he or she reacted to this ... The question being answered here is "Why is this kid here (for what reason)?" And too easily we may be satisfied with this answer – "Oh, so that’s why the kid is here."
Trouble with this question and answer is that it tells only the end of a story. These things happened, so "the kid ended up here."
But we have to ask an altogether different question: "Why is this kid here (for what purpose)? This is the forward-looking question, the start of a new story. It is not closure we are seeking, but new openings. When we ask why (for what purpose) the kid is here, the answer is going to define our task. We are asking what is expected of us all (the program, the youth, the family, the Child and Youth Care workers) while he or she is here, where are we heading, and what is it that we hope will be achieved?
This is a crucial question. For example, in a juvenile detention setting, if we ask only the first question – for what reason – it may seem that the youth has been sent here to be punished. "He did all these bad things so he was sent here!" We have to get that right: a judge may send a man to prison as a punishment but not in order to be punished. So for the youth being admitted to a youth detention setting: that is not the end of the old story, but the beginning of a new story.
Next time you are busy in any way with a youngster in your program – whether assessing, planning, engaging, talking, playing – your best guide to action is to ask yourself the right question ...
Why is this kid here?
