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Who's in charge?The phrase "locus of control" (literally "place" or "centre" of control) has been used to describe whether a youngster has internalised personal responsibility and decision-making (internal locus of control) – or whether "authority" and control are still exercised by others (external locus of control).
In the process of normal development we usually watch the locus of control move progressively through childhood and adolescence from outer to inner. A primary function of upbringing is to teach (discipline) children in developing their own inner control and so achieve autonomy, and to reduce their dependency on outer control (which reflects Kohlberg’s model of moral development).
Sometimes the adults don’t get this right. For example, over-controlling and authoritarian parents leave children unsure of themselves: they dominate and restrict their children, yet blame them when they don’t make sensible decisions. Such children may become—
(a) over-compliant and therefore at risk of continuing
to be dominated by others, or
(b) aggressive and rebellious as they reject adult influence and leadership.
In other cases, adults offer no guidelines (discipline) at all and the child lives a trial-and-error existence, struggling to make sense of people and the world at large. The children in such a case may become—
(a) hesitant and anxious, constantly looking about for
guidance and for cues of approval/disapproval, or
(b) settle for their own – often fragile and ill-fitting – set of beliefs
and values to guide their actions.
All of us in this work are familiar with kids for whom this process has gone wrong. And in our daily practice we are careful not to compound their problems by unthinkingly ordering them about and demanding instant obedience, or (just as unthinkingly) leaving them entirely to their own devices when they are longing for a lead from us.
Locus of control can be a helpful model when we are seeking direction with a particular child or youth. Sometimes we may have to go back a few steps and repair and rebuild some basic trust in adults so as to facilitate a healthier transition to autonomy. Sometimes we just need to be careful in our day-to-day care, making sure that we are following a considered developmental path with the youth.
"How can responsibility be given to the immature and to the irresponsible? There is no way out of the dilemma that unless it is granted, the child cannot learn how to exercise it." – Mia Kellmer Pringle
