The complete set of 198 Hints are available in paperback from the CYC-Net Press store.
Listen
No such thing. If we have a group of six or sixteen young people in our group, then every minute is precious, and when we are on duty, we are on duty!
Trouble is that in our work there are so often the crises, the tense moments, the dramas. There is always someone aggressively staking out his domain or high as a kite or too sick to go to school or barricaded into her room or terrifyingly depressed ... When we have spent time with these situations and the intensity has (for the moment, at least) passed, we are tempted to make some tea and wait for the next episode. We call this the "putting out fires" mode of Child and Youth Care work. And the worker who only puts out fires is damned forever only to put out fires.
Today, instead of asking ourselves what horrors need to be fought, ask what assets and strengths need to be added to the lives of our kids. Ten minutes listening to one child’s opinion adds ten minutes to her sense of self and can buy ten minutes of better frustration tolerance for her tomorrow; ten minutes of empathy with one child today adds ten minutes of understanding and tolerance for him today and a ten minutes longer fuse on his need for resentment and revenge tomorrow.
We know that when there is no stress and rage, kids are more receptive to what we have to offer. So grab the good times when you can. When we have attended to the drama we have time, not for relaxation, but for some of our best work.
