Quote of the Day

Although most people think sexuality primarily involves intercourse and other forms of genital sexual pleasuring, sexuality is, in fact, a broad term used to describe human sexual development, in all its forms, across the lifespan. This development is influenced by physiological, social, biological, and cultural factors (Hyde & DeLamater, 2000) and includes self-perception as well as the social roles and behaviours that we adopt.

This means that sexual development and behaviour of people differs depending on who they are, what they have been taught, and what they have learned from society and the culture at large. It encompasses all of who we are as human and sexual beings, not just the act of intercourse, as popular beliefs lead us to believe. Thus, a male or female growing up in another culture would grow up with sexual values, beliefs, and behaviours very different from our own. Even young people from the same country, such as Canada, would have different sexual attitudes and behaviours based on what their family has taught them, as well as the influence of friends and the nature of the local subculture. Religious upbringing, peer behaviour, ethnicity, gender, and so on all influence how teens express themselves sexually and who they are as males and females.

The fact of the matter is that young people do not wake up on their thirteenth birthday, somehow transformed into a sexual being overnight. Even young children are sexual in some form, and the existence of childhood sexuality has been accepted for a long time. We know that young children are capable of sexual behaviour and that the early years of a child’s life are spent exploring his or her sexuality. (Again, remember that sexuality is not merely genital acts of pleasuring, but rather a whole spectrum of behaviours, attitudes, and values.) For example, by about the age about three or four, children become aware that they are male or female and what their gender means in terms of dress, relationships, and behaviour. Young children may also have had some experience with masturbation and even same-sex or opposite sex play. (Yes, children still do "play doctor" and tell "bare naked jokes.") Between the ages of eight and twelve, children start to develop a preference for nonsexual play with members of their own sex.

With worries about sexual abuse surfacing over the past decade and a half, many parents (and workers) have become confused and concerned about what the sexual behaviour of their child means. Often they want to keep a child in a closet and let them out when they have the judgment and sensibility to make responsible sexual decisions. Many parents these days wonder if the sexual behaviour of their young children is "normal." There is a lot of confusion about what is "normal" child sexual development, in part because childhood sexuality has not been studied extensively. In addition, any sexual behaviour by a young person used to signal alarm; yet we believe some of this alarm, although understandable, is not totally justified. Toni Cavanagh-Johnson (1993) has provided a useful description that can help parents and professionals decide whether the sexual behaviour of their child is a reason for cause concern.

— HEATHER COLEMAN and GRANT CHARLES
Coleman, H. and Charles, G (2001) Adolescent sexuality: A matter of condom sense. Journal of Child and Youth Care, Vol.14 (4) pp17-18