INDEX OF QUOTES
 |
Each of us has a particular worldview or image of reality. When we interact with others, we often assume that they share our perceptions and give the same meaning to messages as we do. If we have few similar experiences, however, we do not perceive reality in similar ways, and consequently our messages have quite different meanings. Our perceptions influence our thought patterns, values, and beliefs, which, in turn, influence our perceptions (Singer 1987). We act and react according to our image of reality. To this extent, our perception or image of reality, not reality itself, is what determines behavior, including our interactions with others. While some might view all human interactions as an opportunity for competition, others might view them as opportunities for cooperation. Sitting alone in a cafeteria because we seek privacy might be perceived by others as being aloof, hostile, or arrogant. The meaning we give to messages is determined by our experiences or culture. We do not send meaning, we send messages. If we have experienced the world in similar ways, then our messages will elicit similar meanings. Meanings are in our head. If I sit facing an old Arab with my ankle on my knee and the bottom of my shoe exposed to his view, he would be highly insulted. The sole of my shoe touches the earth, which is filthy and, in his culture, I am exposing my filthy shoe to his face. In the United States, this is a typically macho way of sitting, and the bottom of one’s shoe has no particular meaning. If I am speaking to the Arab gentleman, it is highly unlikely he is paying attention to a word I am saying, because he has been programmed by his culture to attend to this shocking message— "bottom of shoe in my face." The verbal messages I am sending are not getting through because they are overwhelmed by my strong nonverbal message. Further, in his culture, people are generally more aware of nonverbal messages than in the mainstream American culture. Imagine yourself talking to someone who has his finger in his nose and is speaking to you; chances are you would not pay much attention to what he is saying. Our culture teaches us what messages to attend to and what those messages mean. This is especially true of nonverbal messages, because their meanings are almost entirely culture-specific. Moreover, we learn how to communicate nonverbally simply by growing up and participating with others in the culture. Verbal communication is learned formally, explicitly, in the classroom, while nonverbal communication is learned informally, implicitly, through interaction with others. Because nonverbal communication skills are unconsciously acquired, most of us are unaware that we are constantly sending and receiving these messages and giving them meanings. |
 |
|
Singer, M.R. (1987) Intercultural communication: A perceptual approach. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall