NUMBER 82 • 8 AUGUST 2002 • REFRAMING
INDEX OF QUOTES

	Consider how easy it is to destroy a child’s feelings of worth with a hostile word or flippant gesture. Consider how a child might feel if he or she repeatedly is called some of these: bad, devious, mean, perverted, disrespectful, cruel, nasty, lazy, untrustworthy, cowardly, aggressive, ill-mannered, foul-mouthed, selfish, helpless, hopeless Communication specialists say that insults are designed to communicate contempt in order to attack the self-esteem of the targeted individual. Of course, professionals do not intend to assault the self-esteem of their clients. However, consider the jargon used by many professionals: antagonistic, apathetic, deviant, disturbed, dysfunctional, insensitive, malicious, argumentative, self-centered, unmotivated. hostile; inflexible, stubborn, bizarre, insolent, bigoted, intolerant. By adopting strength-based paradigms, we clearly separate negative behavior from the person’s worth. In fact, we frequently can scrutinize the problem behavior and discover strengths that lie beneath the obvious weaknesses. This is called refraining: driven? no, energetic! stubborn? no, determined! bizarre? no, creative! rebellious? no, independent! obsessive? no, organized! delusional? no, imaginative! By reframing negative attributions into positive potentials, we plant a seed and nurture it. Such is our business.
	— JOSEPH BURGER Burger, J. (1995) Planting seeds of hate or hope. Reclaiming Children and Youth, Vol.4 No.2, p.51