Quote of the Day

	To truly connect and build relationships with the children, we must find a meeting place with the child in the here and now where we can hear both our “inner whispering” (Purkey, 2000) and the child’s voice. This is to live with them in a meaningful way. We know from our observation of the child that we may discover a voice of irrational beliefs and negative self-attributions. These observations can be essential to our eventual planning for the child but may not be the key to developing the relationship. Instead, we may hear in our self-talk the voice of doubt and sense the rising of counter-aggression. A negative response signals the need to be present in the moment with them in dispassionate compassion (Wood & Long, 1991). The key to living together with children who hate is as much within us as it is within the child. The dispassionate adult approaches the child from an inner caring and understanding, which does not overwhelm, or push the child further away, or deny the child’s inner reality. Parker Palmer (1998) observes that good teaching cannot be reduced to technique but comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher. When one teaches from a sense of identity and integrity rather than simply remaining disengaged and applying techniques, the possibility of ongoing clear communication and change is established. The voice of the teacher and the voice of the child become the dialogue that gives the adult entree to the child. Purkey (2000) sees teaching as basically the imaginative act of hope. This hopefulness shakes the walls of the child’s resistance and increases the possibility of positive interventions into their troubled lives. When all staff live with the children, acts of human kindness (Long, 1997) are spontaneous and evident throughout the program.
	JOHN MARSTON Marston, J.R. (2001) Living in the reality of children who hate. Reclaiming Children and Youth, Vol.10 No.3, pp.179–181