INDEX OF QUOTES
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… We suggest that it is profitable to consider "establishing a relationship" as consisting of three elements: 1. Increasing the child’s communication with the adult; 2. Increasing the child’s responsiveness to social reinforcement provided by the adult; and 3. Increasing the tendency of the child to model the behaviour of adults … Each of these elements of a relationship is considered separately in the discussion below. Communication. The first element of a "relationship" is communication between two individuals. To the extent that communication is neither impeded nor distorted, then the necessary foundation of a "relationship" has been established. Communication is not only verbal (talking, corresponding) but nonverbal (gesturing, physical contact). The existence of communication can be observed in numerous ways (e.g., the child may constantly seek out the adult, talk to him, wave to him, greet him, ask questions, jump on him, etc.). To the extent that the two parties in the relationship have engaged in a large amount of communication, a number of private symbols often develop — symbols not generally understood by outsiders (e.g., nicknames, special meanings for certain words or signals, private jokes, or even a private language). Social Reinforcement. A second element of a "relationship" is the increased susceptibility of one person (i.e., the child) to the other person (adult) as a source of social reinforcement. The child care worker who "has a relationship" with a certain child possesses certain reinforcing properties which are not possessed by non-significant others (such as strangers). In this situation, the child generally strives to obtain the approval and to avoid the disapproval of the adult, even when no concrete reward or punishment will be forthcoming. The previous experience of a child with adults is perhaps the main determinant of the amount of influence social approval or disapproval will have upon his behavior. Modeling. A third element of a "relationship" is the greater tendency for the child to imitate or model certain behavior patterns of the specific adult. This modeling is something more than an attempt to gain the adult’s approval, since it may occur in situations where the model is not present (e.g., a child may continue to model his father’s behavior even after the father is dead). The modeling frequently occurs without the awareness by the child (e.g., a child adopts his father’s facial expressions or style of walking) and also without any intention of the adult to teach the child the behavior. For example, research suggests that parents who discipline their children’s aggressive behavior by physically punishing the child may actually be providing a model for more physically aggressive behavior by the child. It should be clear from the foregoing that the existence of a "relationship" places the child in a vulnerable position; he can readily be influenced for better or for worse. Thus, it is not enough for the worker to establish a "relationship" with a child, but he must also see to it that he uses the "relationship" in a therapeutic manner. |
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