INDEX OF QUOTES
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Elaborate equipment and a great store of toys are not necessary; indeed toys whose performance is elaborate (like some of the talking dolls now available) or which dictate too strictly how they are to be used fail to stimulate child’s imagination to the same extent as such easily available and expendable materials as large cardboard cartons, used envelopes and the traditional wood blocks, carts on wheels, rag dolls, paints, plasticine and the like. When child gets a little older, it is important to see that toys which are meant to work, such as carpenters’ tools (popular with many girls as well as boys should be strong and efficient, that musical instruments are in tune, and that plastics should not crack easily. One of the values of play is that it sets the child its own discipline, rather a whole range of disciplines, depending on the activity in hand. So often one hears a parent or teacher saying: “Paul (or Sheila) can’t sit still, can’t concentrate on one thing for a minute at a time, argues about everything say, never does what he’s told”. Yet if one watches him or her playing variety of games, one is struck by how hard and long he can concentrate on activity of his own choosing, how strictly he abides by the rules of the game and governs his own impulses when they conflict with these. The adults expecting a much more adult type of standard, in activities and tasks they have chosen for the child, and have failed to realise the value of his play-activities in achieving the very thing they want. The gang play of children, perhaps starting as early as seven or sometimes alarms adults, as it can take the form of an almost primitive society with its secret rites and customs. But unless a disturbed child has much influence in the group, children can check themselves from going too far. The meaningful personal relationships with parents mean that the child knows where he will get approval, and where criticism; and by and large he abides by this when they are not present. Where such a gang slides into slightly anti-social activities, such as “raiding” orchards or scrapheaps, this may simply reflect the way that the parents have drawn the guidelines of right and wrong (even though there is a great show of anger, even punishment, when they are caught). But where a child is in the group who has not learnt from his parents the safe limits of play, he may draw other children by means of “dares” very risky situations. The other time when ordinary children’s play may be in danger of getting out of hand is when the adult presence is so far withdrawn that the children become insecure and do not know what to do about it. Both these factors, in an extreme situation, are brilliantly depicted in William Golding’s book Lord of the Flies It would be very wrong to give the impression that the stage of gang play is a negative one. It is most valuable for children to experiment in making their own rules without reference to adults, and keeping them, to make their own hideouts, and plan their games arid activities together. At times these are aggressive, releasing surplus energy, but also offering a safe outlet for partly repressed feelings—safe so long as the parents’ early guidance has really provided the code within themselves which tells them how far they can go. Most youngsters can work through periods of aggression in this way, which is healthier than always trying to contain it. Whatever the dynamic origins of the “tomboy” stage that many girls go through, one can say that this too is often a positive time, full of exploration and learning about one’s own powers and the world around one. Boys and girls at this stage can benefit greatly from setting themselves challenges, enjoying real or partly imaginative adventures, and building up self-confidence as they do so. |
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