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By this rather artificial term we mean the fact that sometimes all that is needed for an ego or superego to retain Control in the face of anxiety or impulse onrush is a sudden additional quantity of affection, the lack of which seems to be disastrous. Older and more normal children can work for long stretches without the need for direct affectional signals from surrounding adults. Younger and more disturbed children cannot do that. It is not only the need for the interest involvement of the adult in what they are doing but the need for constantly reiterated affectionate dosage which is perfectly natural for them. Children with severe ego disturbances may have trouble accepting the more traditional forms of affection or even admitting their need for them. However, the unconscious need pattern frequently is still in a very similar stage to that of the much younger child. In order to maintain any workable engagement in an activity program among the Pioneers, for instance, a constant flow of direct affectionate relationship of the counselor to the various children involved was essential. Sometimes the attention that was sought or needed was of the type mentioned in the point before, an attempt to engage the adult in an interest relationship. At other times the interest-related contact was obviously only an excuse for seeking an additional affection supply. This could be seen especially strongly when the youngsters had to cope with some increase in jealousy, in anxieties about adult acceptedness, and in frustration-aggression because of incidents of sickness and special care needed for one or the other of the Pioneers. At other times, we soon had to learn that some of the most hostile and aggressive attacks from youngsters could be assuaged more easily by an increased affection on our side rather than by falling into the trap of responding to threat with open limitation or counter-threat. The youngster, for instance, who becomes provocative because of the sudden anxiety that he is not liked will calm down more easily if the adult ignores the provocative content of behavior and gives him sympathetic support for the problem he really has at hand. |
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