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6 February
NO 1261
Relationship
Adults who work with youth have long been aware of the awesome power of relationships. This was a dominant theme of the early writings in education, counseling, and youth work. However, as professional literature became more scientifically oriented, relationships were increasingly ignored. Now there are signs of a renewal of interest in the synergistic power of human relationships.
Research shows that the quality of human relationships in schools and youth service programs may be more influential than the specific techniques or interventions employed. Teachers with widely divergent instructional styles can be successful if they develop a positive classroom climate. Counselors trained in different methodologies succeed or fail to a large extent based on the quality of rapport they build with clients. Behavior modification systems can work well for some adults but backfire if authority figures cannot build a tone of positive relationships.
Most of those who work with youth have a desire to build positive relationships. They know that if they are liked and respected by their charges, their days will be less frenzied and more productive. Student teachers or novice youth workers have heaved great sighs of relief when they have realized that they can "get along" with youth.
Other adults are locked in narrow professional roles that insulate them from genuine relationships with students or clients. Some keep aloof from difficult youth in the belief that "distance" is necessary to maintain "authority and respect:" Others write off a certain percentage of difficult youth as destined statistical failures who will consume a disproportionate amount of time. Still other adults may wish to help but may lack the skills to relate to reluctant youth.
There are striking differences between youth who reach out to others and those who do not. Relationship-reluctant children may be fearful, suspicious, or antagonistic. They may be super ficially charming but expert at keeping adults at an emotional arm's length. If they form peer attachments, these are typically with others who also distrust adults. They are likely to have parents who are low in nurturance and affection skills and may be either overly harsh or indulgent. These youth may lack social skills, including empathy, and are likely to exhibit delinquency, substance abuse, and premature sexual activity (Brodinsky, 1980).
LARRY K. BRENDTRO,
MARTIN BROKENLEG AND STEVE VAN BOCKERN
REFERENCES
Brodinsky, B. (1980). Student discipline: Problems
and solutions. Sacramento, CA. American Association of School
Administrators.
Brendtro, L.K., Brokenleg, M. and Van Bockern, S. (2002 revised edition). Reclaiming youth at risk: Our hope for the future. Bloomington, Indiana. National Educational Service. pp. 71-72.
