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22 JANUARY 2010
NO 1532
Positive peer groups
Young children are extremely motivated to help others and, when their contribution is acknowledged and appreciated, they beam with pride. While many children and teenagers appear to be reluctant to reach out to others, they also have an innate desire to help and make a difference in the lives of others. However, this predisposition to be helpful must be nurtured, and adults must provide opportunities for kids to develop this sense of responsibility, compassion, and social conscience (Brooks and Goldstein, 2001).
The life experiences of many youth have taught them that they can count only on themselves; therefore, they often present themselves as self-centered, placing their own needs before anything else. Nevertheless, we have seen that when kids are presented the opportunities to be of assistance to others, they are ready to put their own needs aside and go to work. When we examine the psychological reasons for this behavior, it is not strange. In order for a person to feel positive about himself, he must feel accepted by others and he must feel that he deserves this acceptance. In most client-professional relationships, the first condition for positive self-worth is present, that is, most helping professionals are accepting of and empathetic toward the people with whom they work. Helping professionals go to great lengths to let the troubled person know that he really is not so bad as he thinks, that he is worthy as an individual, that he has many fine qualities, and that we accept him. However, just telling someone he is a fine person and treating him empathetically is not sufficient to develop a positive self-concept. The person often thinks others are being nice to him only because they feel sorry for him or perhaps even because they are getting paid to be nice (Vorrath and Brendtro, 1985). However, when a youth is a member of a caring peer group, she is expected and has the opportunity to help others. Thus, the peer group approach provides the natural ingredients for an improved self-concept. It is important for a person's self-worth that he feels he is worthy of acceptance. If he knows that much of his behavior is irresponsible and damaging to himself or others, he does not believe he is really making worthwhile contributions to life. If he is to feel deserving of the acceptance, he must start making positive contributions to others and stop harmful behavior. Therefore, adults must cultivate caring environments where youth stop their irresponsible (hurting) behaviors and have ample opportunities for helping others. These are the ingredients of a truly positive selfconcept.
ERIK K. LAURSEN
Laursen, E.K. (2005). Rather than fixing kids – build positive peer cultures. Reclaiming children and youth, 14, 3. pp. 141-142.
REFERENCES
Brooks, R., and Goldstein, S. (2001). Raising resilient children. Chicago: Contemporary Books.
Vorrath, H. H., and Brendtro, L. K. (1985). Positive peer culture (2nd ed.). New York: Aldine.
