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30 APRIL 2010
NO 1571
Relationships at risk
The problems of children cannot be understood in isolation from the environments where they are raised. Prominent psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner defines what he calls “the ecology of childhood” as consisting of family, school, peers, and the broader community, which includes neighborhoods and religious and social institutions. In the following discussion, we consider these “environmental hazards” and suggest promising solutions for rebuilding our broken communities. The following chart lists the four key relationships in a youth’s life. In the pages to follow, we will address what happens when these relationships malfunction:
| Healthy relationships |
Relationships at risk |
| 1. Bonded securely to family |
1. Families on the edge |
| 2. Bonded to school |
2. Estranged from school |
| 3. Bonded to prosocial peers |
3. Destructive peer influence |
| 4. Bonded to community | 4. Children of exile |
Families on the edge
Wayward children are not created in a vacuum. Each is influenced by
myriad forces – family, schools, peers, neighborhoods, social
institutions, and churches. Without a doubt, the most potent of all
influences in the life of the child is the family. And so, when a child
exhibits a problem, many are quick to blame it on the family. But
parents of troubled children do not need blame. Barbara Huff of the
Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health calls for a
moratorium on the adjective “dysfunctional" when describing families. lf
labels are needed, better terms might be “overstressed” or
“undersupported.”
Many resilient children from highly stressed families somehow turn out all right, while other children who are reared in warm, nurturing, and supportive environments can end up in deep trouble. Sometimes one child in a family does well and another falters. At other times, the temperament of a child or some underlying disability further complicates the parenting process. All in all, there are no “quick and easy formulas" to produce healthy children, but there are a few key principles.
Normally, stable families provide the nurturing bonds and corrective guidance that children need. However, when families become stressed, they are often not able to fully meet the needs of children. Ironically, the struggles of adolescent children often produce much of that stress.
SCOTT LARSEN AND LARRY BRENDTRO
Larsen, S. and Brendtro, L. (2000). Reclaiming our
Prodigal Sons and Daughters. Bloomington, Indiana. National
Educational Service. pp. 41-42.
