and reach thousands of daily visitors
27 AUGUST 2010
NO 1620
Discipline versus punishment
The session on the fifth day of the parent support program begins with the subject of punishment. The participants are asked to define what is punishment and what is the intent behind it? There is some opportunity to look at how much punishment was used in their own upbringing and how it affects their present parenting style. Aspects covered are: (1) what are the reasons that parents punish children; and (2) what kind of actions are taken? The participants are then asked to discuss their own personal experience with punishment in a small group setting. Questions asked include who handled punishment in your house and what type of punishment was it? How did you feel about it or the person who dished it out? What lasting impressions did it have on you?
Participants conclude this part of the workshop by making a list of the dangers or potential drawbacks of punishment. Spending the time to cover this subject is important especially for this group as many have been abused or have abused their own children. It never ceases to amaze the instructors as to how accurate and extensive are the lists of potential drawbacks which participants identify. Once again the purpose is to enlighten the parents using their own experiences. Ultimately it is their decision whether they want to continue to punish or if they want to do something different.
Throughout the week the participants are constantly asking about techniques and approaches in disciplining their children. By the fifth day they will have already dealt with a number of problems that have been brought up either during a presentation or in a small group setting.
It is stressed that discipline really covers a number of subjects and we proceed to name all the areas that had been covered in the week, such as knowledge of child development, self-esteem, communication skills, problem solving, etc. Once they know what punishment is the parents are given a definition of discipline, and brief discussion of what are natural and logical consequences. The rest of the moming is spent in groups doing problem solving and practical approaches (including role play) of situations that the parents are most concemed about. A comprehensive handout listing discipline/teaching approaches is distributed at this time.
Participants are asked to sacrifice their lunch hour to listen to an audiotape called: "Discipline: Kids Are Worth It." (Coloroso, 1983) We have included this tape because it covers many of the points made through the week in a rather concise and light-hearted manner.
MARLAINE BARHAM AND SHAUN HOLSTROM
Barham, M. and Holstrom, S. (1988). Parenting for the 80's: Key elements of a parent support program. Journal of Child Care, 3, 5. p. 25.
REFERENCES
Coloroso, B. (1983). Discipline: Kids are worth it. Boulder. (audiotape).
