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Since it's founding in 1997, the CYC-Net discussion group has been asked thousands of questions. These questions often generate many replies from people in all spheres of the Child and Youth Care profession and contain personal experiences, viewpoints, as well as recommended resources.
Below are some of the threads of discussions on varying Child and Youth Care related topics.
Questions and Responses have been reproduced verbatim.
Listen to thisHi,
During a ‘heated exchange’ a staff in one of
our facilities was struck hard by a young woman with whom she (the
staff) already had a tense relationship. The staff pressed charges
against the youth (as is her right in this area). The staff was
moved to work in another program while the charges are processed.
We (the staff still in the program) are struggling with how to be with
the young person who struck the staff. Any helpful ideas would be
appreciated.
Claire L.
...
Hi Claire
Am not sure what to say, your question is very difficult to answer, but
I believe that Restorative Justice must take place, the 2 parties must
sit down and discuss the matter and try to solve it.
But for me, I would like to know, what disciplinary measures were taken
beside opening the case against the young person?
Mr. M. Mntwana
...
If the children in the home are attacking your staff then the manager
needs to assess your program and/or the performance of that staff.
The children are always the first to blame.
Barry Smith
...
Hi Claire,
The information given in in this email is vague about the staff and
girl’s relationship and what triggered the girl to assault the staff.
Was the staff verbally abusive towards the girl? Has the girl been
diagnosised with mental illness? Does the girl have a history of
violence? Without knowing the answers to these questions I am unable to
offer a behavioural plan for this girl, but I am confident that every
human being’s behaviour can be managed and be positively altered to
function higher.
Colleen Sparks
...
Hi Claire,
Being physically assaulted (for whatever reason in whatever
circumstances) can be experienced as traumatic, and having this happen
to a colleague can also be traumatic. My guess would be that the
reason you are struggling with how to "be" with this young person is
because you have experienced a traumatic event – even though you were
not directly affect, you can still be indirectly traumatised. Of course
we are expected to be trained in managing conflict, de-escalation etc
etc, but we are still human. Training does not make us immune to
trauma. I regularly work with people who were traumatised due to
violence of some kind, and this often something that is overlooked or
brushed aside.
I would suggest that you obtain counselling and/or supervision for the
team that were affected as soon as possible.
Then of course you need to consider postvention – looking at this
incident (perhaps with some outside assistance) and picking up the
learnings, the things that would help you prevent such an incident in
future (as far as reasonably possible).
Of course there may be many other issues relevant here, but this is my
brief response and I know it does not address everything.
Good luck.
Werner van der Westhuizen
...
You want to be “with her” the same way you would be if she had committed
another infraction, even an illegal one. If she was caught using
drugs, having sex, stealing, etc. you would not think she had suddenly
become another person. In this case her distress expressed itself
in a way that might be familiar to her from her family. You want
to keep her in the relationships that matter to her and help her process
what she did – how she caused harm to another person who was trying to
care for her, discuss consequences, and offer her assistance – as you
would with any other behavior. You probably also want to use this
opportunity to help her understand how some behavior has much harsher
consequences than others. In this case, it’s going into a legal
proceeding. In the case of domestic violence or street fighting,
it might mean going to jail. In the case of hurting a child it
might mean losing that child. If this staff alienates her you will
miss the opportunity to give her some important life lessons, as well as
to let her know that making a mistake does not mean she is no longer
cared for.
Lorraine Fox
...
Supporting rather than judging is key. You do not want to loose this
person either. That person could be going through severe trauma that may
have been triggered unknowingly.
Roxanne Anderson
...
I'd advocate she be supported in the same way others are supported. It
is ironic to me that children and youth are criminally charged for
behaviors which get them institutionalized in the first place. The irony
to me really is that the adults who have all the power over the youth
feel it their right to reach to a higher authority to punish youth who
act out in ways which they are seeking treatment for. On the other hand
I have seen it both ways, youth deciding to make better choices after
facing more extreme consequences such as criminal charges. Who is
talking with this youth about all of this? Lest she become harder and
more angry with the system she may benefit from empathy and acceptance
that she has made a mistake and will be supported through her travels in
criminal (in)justice system. Does your company do restorative justice?
What are the consequences for the adult who was a contributor to the
youth's attack? I've seen adults who have ongoing conflicts with kids
push those kids buttons in a vain attempt to "help" them. Vain is key
here. Whose needs are being served? What message is the youth learning?
Are these the messages we want to teach future citizens?
I would join the youth and let her explore her thoughts and feelings in
this situation. Help her develop a responsible response of
responsibility for her behavior and present it to the staff, in a
mediated way and stating what she needs from Staff when she gets
heated. Implement life space crisis intervention and help her learn
better ways of coping and communicating. The staff sound as if they
could benefit from similar support.
Pressing charges, while perhaps being her right, does not restore the
sense of efficacy and safety she deserves in her relating-to youth
clients. Sounds like she will benefit from education and support in
developing more skills and confidence in herself to step away from
conflicts or learn assertive nonviolent ways of being in conflict. Again
LSCI training.
Nobody wins when kids are made into criminals. We just postpone
development. Violent behavior is not criminal behavior, it's adaptive
behavior. Some might say maladaptive, but if your words are not getting
you the results you are looking for (personal power) fists may work,
then a weapon.
Who is for the youth regardless of her behavior? Unconditionally?
Peter DeLong
...
Unfortunately this can be a feature of daily life within a residential
unit. We can feel disapproval for the behaviour but must remain resolute
in our commitment to the youngsters within our care. In my experience
using your relationship to make effective change is the biggest tool we
have in our job and this will be an effective vehicle for a life space
interview surrounding the event. If we start treating anyone differently
or disengage from them then all will be lost and they will feel they
have nothing to lose raising the likelihood of the same thing happening
to another staff member
Ruby Whitelaw
...
Hi there
As someone who had been struck by a young woman during a somewhat
“heated exchange” at a children’s home years ago, I have a few questions
and maybe a comment or two.
I notice you say nothing about how the young woman reacted after the
incident. How did this affect her? You talk about your experience of not
knowing how to “be” with her…how does she feel about “being” with you?
Does she know how to “be” now? My experience has been that the young
person is a hundred times more affected by the “crossing of the line”
and that they often feel that it is impossible to find their way back.
This could very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity to build a more
secure bridge!
Remember, as I am sure you do, our relationships are “for” the clients,
not for ourselves, so we need to use what we feel as a tool to see where
the child may be at. Then push through our discomfort to reach the young
person. But hey, you are human! And so is she. Perhaps it may be
worthwhile to have a conversation about what the discomfort feels like
for you – name it, so that it isn’t this huge elephant in the room. This
is not about why she did what she did, or figuring out what is right or
wrong – that would just lead to more tension. RATHER ask how this
state of limbo feels like for her – if she does not want to talk,
express what you think it must feel like using words like “perhaps” or
“maybe” or “I’d feel”, so that she can see your empathy and maybe find
words for how she’s feeling.
Don’t make it a long discussion, unless she elicits more conversation
from you. Just show empathy and – most importantly – state your
willingness to be there. Perhaps adding a bit of positive feedback to
the mix, so that she can see you are not staring blindly at the misdeed.
In my case it worked out well – it was a catalyst for change and I still
maintained contact with the young woman for years after she left the
Home.
Someone told me recently that in order for change to happen one needs
discomfort and hope. I reckon there is enough discomfort here
already, but hope?
Alex Botha
...
When assaults on staff occurs, many times staff may have not done what
they could or should, and yet charges were brought. One horrible
incident involved a youth picking up a stool and knocking out a teacher
from behind (the teacher assistant had just stepped out of the
classroom). The teacher was knocked out and blood everywhere.
Fortunately, other students were there to disarm the youth and call for
help from Youth Care staff. Rescue and police arrived, the teacher
taken to the hospital and the youth sent to jail. Another incident
involved a youth stealing the van keys, racing down the interstate
highway with several police in pursuit at high speeds. The van rolled
over – miraculously – no injuries (or other motorists involved) and the
youth arrested. Both incidents where years apart – but did happen.
I have trained in LSCI several times, and believe both incidents were
preventable. Both incidents were the result of staff not doing
they best they could. Both staff were met with in supervision (including
the teacher after returning from the hospital). When working with
dangerous kids, staff need to have their wits about them, and never turn
their backs. Staff need to know kids are capable of stealing and must to
be much more meticulous in their work.
Not all assaults were as bad as the two mentioned above, but many
charges were pressed. As kids in treatment receive trauma informed care,
they are also taught responsibility. As in the real world, when
dangerous acts are committed, there are natural consequences. I have
been in several courtrooms where I have witnessed youth turn the tables
and tell the judges, "if it weren't for that terrible youth care worker – or that nasty group home....etc." and I know that the youth care
worker never did any of those things!! So the judges (and even social
workers fall for the lies) and the "poor victim" is sent to another
facility and continues the same dynamic and never receive the real
treatment or learning, because they know how to play the system. These
kids then age out of residential and are well trained to do the wrong
things and get away with them. Sheltering residential youth from law
enforcement may not always be the best approach.
As a practitioner of Restorative Justice, I believe Restorative Justice
and Criminal Justice should work together – not exclusive of each other
or apposed to each other. When these systems do not work together,
nobody wins.
Gene Cavaliere
...
Hello there, All behavior is a form of communication and no behavior
happens 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Being empathetic
to this youth, try to understand them in more of their background/life
experience sense then a case management sense. Imagine you being in
their shoes in a restrictive setting etc... Remember burn out rate is
high in our field therefore not to personalize occurrences because there
are most likely more good then negative during a shift and our job is to
realize, show and facilitate that positive.
Cheers
Leslie Langman
...
Good day all
The topic is quite an interesting one. I’ve worked with young boys of
which all were awaiting trail and 90% if not more belonged to some sort
of street gangs let alone prison gangs. It is always interesting when
this issue is raised, in all my 17 years working in such volatile and
may I say “testosterone’ filled environment, attacks on staff was just
around the corner. Being vigil and alert is but a part of it, the
overwhelming factor is your relationship with the young people you work
with. Like the saying goes ‘treat people the way you want to be treated’
and be as truthful as humanly possible, remember, these were boys who
only knew one way of dealing with differences or when they experience
crises, through acting out which can be violent outburst amongst
themselves or attacking in some cases the staff member with whom they
have no real relationship with. Just to add, through all my years with
the boys not once did I feel threatened or at the end of an attack,
looking back I can safely say, this was through having good professional
relationships with the boys in my care. One last thing….don’t be in
charge, facilitate the development of each young person in your care.
Charles Harris
...
Claire,
I personally would go in with a clean slate. This girl as you said
already had a volatile relationship with the staff she hit. This is your
chance to create a positive relationship with this youth. If she knows
that there is no judgement and you truly are there to guide her, perhaps
you can start the positive relationship this youth is seeking.
Rebecca White-Kettyle
...
Hi,
Whatever happened to unconditional love? I was kicked so hard by a teen
that a rib was broken. There were consequences for the behaviour, but I
never gave up on the teen. Today we are friends, and they often turn to
me for advice. This young adult is living a successful life, helping
others, and has often commented to me that I never gave up, and just
kept loving, and how much impact that had.
Veronica Jubber
...
Hi there,
I fully agree with Charles' reply.
I can also add the following from my own experience, it is not a direct
reply to the original question posted, but perhaps a more general
observation about dealing with assault, potential assault and the issue
of "escalated encounters". I have been working in residential care for
about 12 years now, and thinking back I can recall about 10 times that I
have been involved in the physical restraint of children and young
people. I must honestly say that, in hindsight, only 1 of these
were instances where physical restraint was really necessary. I
was simply not properly trained on how to de-escalate a situation, and
neither were my support staff. The outcome of these tense
situations depend greatly on the ability of the worker to remain fully
in control of himself/herself during the encounter, and to avoid having
that "alarm reaction" where the body and mind goes into fight/flight
mode. It is unfortunately true that in almost all the encounters I
have had, the situation escalated because the worker did the wrong
things which further escalated the situation.
Part of dealing effectively with these tense situations is having a
proactive environment, where one purposefully designs encounters to
increase the chances of prosocial behaviour and developmentally adaptive
outcomes. Part of this proactive environment is the ability of
staff to pick up on "red flags" and respond to these before things get
worse. And when staff are aware that the situation is tense, that
they do not know how to "be" in the situation, that is a red flag that
needs attention.
I think it is a brilliant example of reflective practice that workers
will discuss such a difficult situation, because that is the first step
towards proactively dealing with the situation. Practitioners who
openly admit their dis-ease with a situation should be commended for
tackling the most difficult client they will ever deal with – themselves. It is pure fantasy and delusion to think that we can
effective without paying constant attention to our own human reactions
to situations, and working actively to deal with our of feelings and
thoughts. After all, in an emergency we have to first put on our
own oxygen masks before assisting "fellow passengers" – yet we neglect
this important aspect all the time. It is impossible to care for
children and young people without effectively caring for our staff and
teams.
Werner van der Westhuizen
