INTERNATIONAL CHILD AND YOUTH CARE NETWORK

10 OCTOBER 2002
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Family tales beat out fairy tales just about every time. But in many families, storytelling is a lost art -- crushed by the hubbub of life and drowned out by modern media.

Storytelling a Lost Art for Families

"The Three Little Pigs" is a fine tale, but odds are it pales next to the story of mom's first time on ice skates or the one about grandpa crashing his jet fighter in England.

"We've been spoiled in some ways by television and books," said Dave Dollahite, a family life professor at Brigham Young University in Provo. "There are a lot of interesting stories there for people to read and listen to, and that's entertaining and nice. But what we've lost in many families is the practice and tradition of telling stories to one another."

Dollahite will make his pitch for the revival of family storytelling at the third annual BYU Family Folklore Workshop, being held Friday from 1-3 p.m. in the school's Harold B. Lee Library Auditorium. Other presenters include Daniel Judd, professor of ancient scripture; Jill Terry Rudy, assistant professor of English; and Ronda Knudsen, a folklore instructor at Utah Valley State College.

Dollahite said family tales -- written or recorded and repeated often -- can be the glue that binds generations together. Meaningful life events -- overcoming adversity, conquering a fear, accomplishing a goal -- are ideal material, he said. So are birth stories and retellings of the cute things a child did when he or she was little. "When those kinds of experiences are told on a regular basis, they have tremendous power," he said. "Telling those stories to children can be very meaningful in turning the hearts of children to their parents."  Take a cue, he suggests, from the importance stories play in various faith traditions -- the Christmas story, the Passover tale, the Mormon pioneer trek.

Dollahite is a self-described master storyteller, sharing with his children tales from his youth, his LDS Church mission and his favorite scripture stories. "I also make up stories where the kids are the heroes doing courageous, brave and kind things," he said.

Many parents know how important bedtime stories are -- and how children crave them. But parents often are not as thoughtful and creative as they could be. "Bedtime is a great time because children are relaxed and very open," he said, calling it a good time to pass on important values and share "things of their soul."

Dollahite often asks students to write a story about the time he or she felt closest to mom or dad. Often, students write about poignant moments shared with their fathers, with whom emotional openness is less common. One example:

A student relayed how her father visited her at school on her birthday every year, treating her and her friends to ice cream sandwiches. Then, when she was in sixth grade, her father had a heart attack days before her birthday. He survived, but was hospitalized.

She was thrilled he was OK -- and, being a child, sad he wouldn't be at school as usual on her special day. She dragged around that day and at lunch time, didn't want to go to the cafeteria. When she walked in, there was her father in a wheelchair, IV hook-up and ice cream sandwiches in hand. When she ran to him, he told her, "I wouldn't be anywhere else but here on your birthday."

"Storytelling is one of those skills I think is important in human interaction," he said. "There is a great Hasidic saying: 'Give people a fact and you enlighten their minds. Tell them a story and you touch their souls.' "

He recommends that stories be written or recorded so they aren't forgotten. "The reality is you can't tell important stories once. You have to tell them over and over," Dollahite said. "Older kids might say, 'Oh, dad, you've told that story a hundred times' but it's important for the younger kids, too."

BY BROOKE ADAMS, Salt Lake Tribune
http://www.sltrib.com/10092002/wednesda/5359.htm