When a child is troubled and needs help, it is crucial that parents, the child, doctors and teachers work together as a team.
An unfortunate but avoidable consequence of diagnostic labels and medication treatment is that these may lead children to believe that their future is no longer in their hands. But they can be helped to understand that even though their struggles are not their fault, their actions remain their responsibility. This can be presented to the child not as more pressure but as a form of respect that will help them fight for their own role in their recovery.
Parents too may feel that as they entrust their child's psychiatric care to a professional they themselves can do little to help. Yet of course parents remain children's most important care givers and advocates. To play this role effectively, parents can take several steps:
Pay attention to your questions and doubts about your child, and to the fears, feelings and memories that these may stir up in you. Parents may be haunted by their own pasts and the family's history, or their worst fears for the future, and not dare to speak them.
Talk about your concerns with the professional caring for your child, or, if it is more comfortable, with friends and family members. Many parents find relief and renewed strength when they meet other parents experiencing similar ordeals. Often they set up their own support groups to face challenges and share resources.
Stay connected with friends and family who care. Find allies who can help, even if just with daily routines. The symptoms of a psychiatric disorder in a child can overwhelm a family and derail its usual ways.
Become an expert on your child's condition. Expect that doctors and counselors will answer your questions, and that they acknowledge when and what they don't know. Talk with other parents, teachers and school counselors, read, and – with caution – use the Internet.
Trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone.
Involve your child in the process. Far too often children are not respected as partners in working to understand their challenges and learning to manage them.
Listen to your child. Try to understand and value his perspective. Ask your child how he understands his struggles and what he thinks will help. Help him find ways to describe the problem that preserve his self-image and give him hope for the future: "Sometimes your feelings just get too strong for you to handle, but we can work on this together so that you're back in control."
You may be referred to a child psychiatrist by your child's pediatrician or a school guidance counselor or, if he's already receiving treatment from a nonmedical mental-health professional (a social worker or psychologist) who isn't trained and licensed to prescribe medications.
If you decide to pursue this recommendation, prepare for your visit by gathering together medical information, reports you have about your child's behavior and notes from your own observations.
Joshua Sparrow
15 January 2008
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/dailycols/5453875.html
