BRITISH COLUMBIA
A few tools for parenting
Life is busy and sometimes parents find themselves reacting rather than thinking things through.
The Parenting with Love and Logic video series is a chance to take the time to learn how to reduce conflict at home, be a more consistent parent, develop and implement logical consequences when a child makes a poor choice, and raise responsible children who are able to make good decisions for a lifetime.
We say this is for parents of children from highchair on up. Its one more tool we can have in our tool boxes as parents, said Joel Haberstock, youth and young families ministries at St. Johns Lutheran Church, which is sponsoring the series in conjunction with Vernon Alliance Church.
Participants will watch the videos by Jim Fay and Foster Cline, then discuss them and share experiences and things that have worked for them. Parents can learn how to work through to logical solutions and encourage their children to learn how to solve problems at age-appropriate levels so they can make their mistakes in a safe environment as they gain independence, said Haberstock, father of three, who facilitates the course with his wife, Jodie.
Weve presented the course three times and we learn something new every time. Its easy to fall back into your habitual ways of dealing with things. People are enthusiastic about the course and some of them come back again. Its such good stuff.
Carmen Crum and her husband, Eric, parents of three children, are looking forward to taking Love and Logic again this year. Parenting issues change as the children grow up and its always good to get a refresher," said Carmen. "So often parents react to situations and lets face it we are all tired and busy. Since this is one of the most important roles we will ever have, its best to have a game plan so we can be proactive and on the same page with our parenting.
"Also each child is different and may need different coaching to learn a lesson. The guest speakers relay funny stories via DVDs that give ideas on how to handle every-day issues in humorous examples. Often the group of parents sit there saying 'I cant believe they did that to their kid,' but then the following week they came and share that they tried it and it worked! Most often parenting is a drill sergeant attitude of controlling a child and telling them constantly what to do and what not to do."
Carmen said the course helps the parent word questions so the childs response is not a flat out no, such as "do you want to carry your jacket or wear your jacket?" with the idea given that you dont care what they do as long as the jacket comes in the car." She said the course puts the fun back in parenting on those tiring days when you feel like you are losing every battle.
Love and empathy, let the consequences be the teacher. Its hard for parents to expect, let and anticipate a child to fail at a task," she said. "In todays society we strive for perfection but if we dont let the kids face consequences for their decisions we rob them of valuable life lessons. The sooner we can teach them life lessons, the less expensive they will be."
Carmen added that for children who don't learn the consequences to their decisions when they are younger, the cost of the lesson will be much greater when they are older, such as loss of job when they dont do their homework."
Cara Brady
20 January 2009
http://www.bclocalnews.com/okanagan_similkameen/vernonmorningstar/lifestyles/37987904.html
