If you asked your child Do you know four ways to control your anger, do you think they would have four answers? I ask us as parents, What skills do our children have to deal with someone elses anger?
As parents and caregivers we instill certain values into our children, like being nice and polite, but do we actually teach them real skills for conflict resolution? Both anger management and conflict resolution are vital assets to have and may reduce the chance of youth becoming involved with the law in the future.
Im Mad is a workshop that I teach students as young as Grade primary. I start my lesson by explaining it is OK to be angry, and anger has to be released in the right way to avoid problems. I review with these children the ways to tell if someone is mad at you, like reading body language, and I look for their input as well. I praise the children for giving tremendous answers, for example: the person may stop talking to you, stomp away or start crying.
The next question I ask is, How can a person get rid of their anger in a good way? I review certain techniques, like counting to 10 and occupying themselves with another activity they enjoy until they feel less angry. I also stress the importance of doing something physically active to release these feelings, and explain it could be something as simple as doing 10 jumping jacks, taking deep breaths until you feel less angry, or going for a walk. For students that like to draw, write, or paint, I suggest that they do these activities until they feel less angry.
I also review with children how to deal with someone elses anger. I feel this part is sometimes over-looked. I suggest to the students that they try to figure out why the person is angry and ask if there is anything they can do to help. I also ask the students how they would feel if they were the angry person and what would make them feel better. And most importantly, I stress that they talk to the person calmly. At the end of the lesson, I put the students in scenarios, using their new-found skills to realistically practice what they have learned.
The strategies reviewed in this article are for parents and care givers who have children in elementary school.
Geoff Agombar
19 March 2009
http://www.novanewsnow.com/article-315690-Im-Mad-Workshop-deals-with-youth-anger-management.html
