Foster children share message of hope
Last spring, social worker Linda Piano went to her boss with an unusual request. Piano was going to a conference in Florida and she wanted permission to take along a teenage girl who was in foster care and another girl who had just left care. The girls had a powerful message and Piano wanted to make sure it was delivered to the right audience – a roomful of social workers and youth-care workers.
The girls, Terrie and Kim, had just compiled a booklet of correspondence containing poignant letters to social workers, foster parents, teachers and other adults, giving them insight into the thoughts and feelings of a group of teenagers in foster care at Batshaw Youth and Family Centres in Montreal.
Their names have been changed to protect their identities.
The letters offered thanks to teachers who had helped "a child in desperation" and showed them "friendship and compassion." One asked foster parents not to treat them any differently than their biological children, saying "everyone needs to be unconditionally loved." Another offered constructive advice to child-care workers on how to deal with them.
The words, which were read by the girls, brought many seasoned social workers to tears. After they had finished fielding questions, the girls were hugged and kissed by several workers who asked them to sign the booklets they had distributed. Terrie and Kim were overwhelmed by the response and surprised by how emotional the audience had become – after all, they were "just a couple of teenagers."
But being part of a youth empowerment group at Batshaw over the past year had changed them. They discovered that they have a voice. They had listened to adults all of their lives. Now, it was their turn to speak. Piano had assured the girls they could use their words to change the world – and change the negative perception that many adults have of foster care children.
After the reaction in Florida, they no longer doubted her.
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In December 2007, Terrie received a letter from Piano, inviting her and other 16- and 17-year-olds in foster care to a pizza night so they could get to know each other a bit better. Terrie, who had been in foster care for 10 years, tossed the letter aside. "It's just Batshaw," she thought. But after receiving a phone call from Piano asking if she was planning to attend, she decided to drop by. She has never regretted the decision.
She felt an instant rapport with the other kids in foster care and liked the way Piano asked the kids their opinions. "After the first meeting, I thought: 'Wow, people at Batshaw are interested in hearing what I have to say,' " she recalled.
During the past 20 years, Piano has heard the voices of many kids in care. But after taking over "services to older adolescents" at Batshaw, she felt that foster children needed a forum to change the perceptions people have of them and, in turn, change the way social workers, teachers and other adults deal with them. "They wanted people to know that just because they are in foster care, it doesn't mean they are delinquent, or on drugs or need to be pitied," Piano said.
The youth empowerment group, called Stand Up, Speak Out, met monthly over the past 18 months to chat, cook and participate in writing workshops.
During one of their conversations, Piano asked the teenagers what they would say if they could address social workers, foster parents, teachers or adults? The foster care kids brainstormed and jotted down their personal messages. Terrie and Kim compiled their thoughts into letters and poems, which were included in the booklet of correspondence published this spring. "They want foster parents and other adults to know what being in foster care is like for them," Piano said.
The booklet contains a message for every "potential employer, potential professor or any adult who may have some of the stereotypes, who think that if you have been in care, you must have problems or are untrustworthy," she said. "My ultimate hope is that these voices change the existing stereotypes about youth in care to include words such as: smart, hard-working, insightful, resilient and resourceful," Piano added.
Katherine Wilton
12 October 2009
http://www.thestarphoenix.com/life/Foster+children+share+message+hope/2095405/story.html
