hen I reflect on my early moments as a child and youth care worker in a residential center for emotionally disturbed boys, I remember many of the mistakes I made. I said or did something that with hindsight I can see was wrong, or at the very least, not the best alternative. Fortunately, like most new workers, I think my intent was always good, and I was eager to learn from my experiences.

A strength that I had, and I’m not sure where it came from, was my ability to keep track of the boys in my group. I got nervous or worried if one of the boys was out of sight without my knowing where he was. I also seemed to sense when I should be closer to or farther away from one boy or another.

At times, I had without knowing it what Fritz Redl and David Wineman (1952, p. 164) called “proximity control.” If two boys, for example, were in a situation that could escalate into a fight, then is was important for me to be physically closer to them. In another situation it was important to give the boys a little space. And as we walked to dinner, it was important to be closest to those who needed my presence the most, and to give those who could use a little distance just enough so that I could still see them. I usually tried to be somewhere in the center of our configuration where I could determine the best distance between each boy and myself.

Some of the more experienced workers had developed this ability into an art form. When I watched them I was amazed at they way moved and positioned themselves. They seemed to sense as well as know where to be as they improvised to the tempos of daily living. Watching them was like watching accomplished dancers who knew how to play off one another.

Other workers didn’t get it. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. A worker might be in a youth’s face when he or she should have been two or three steps away, or on the other side of the room or out of sight when she or he should have been much closer to a youth or group of youths.

Now, as I read many of my own stories and the stories of youth workers, many of which were presented previously in this column, I often think about position. I ask myself, where are they/we in relationship to the youth? How does our position influence an interaction? Are we in the right, wrong place?

When I teach child and youth care work, I give examples of positioning and demonstrate in class exercises. Our discussions invariably turn to how position is connected with boundaries and human connection. Body language is also often part of the discussion. Being in the right place alone doesn’t work if our bodies and facial expressions don’t give off an impression that supports the purpose of our position.