The kids won’t notice

See below: Welcome to Jack Phelan

"I’m going to be late for class tomorrow” she said, looking me square in the eyes.

“Why’s that?” I ask.

“Because I don’t like the substitute teacher who’s coming tomorrow and when you are late she makes you go to the principal’s office and that way you miss most of the morning classes but don’t miss school, so I only get in trouble for being late, not skipping out ...”

Smart. She was real smart. And once again I was fascinated by how well young people know the system, the people in it, and how it all works. Heck, I had been working there since the beginning of the year and I hadn’t noticed the pattern. And here she was, this “troubled”, “problematic”, adolescent letting me know how it all worked. She seemed more perceptive than me at that moment, but it didn’t surprise me really.

The young people we work with seldom miss much, as the adolescent girl reminded me. I guess I wouldn’t either if “the system” was in charge on my life. They notice patterns in our relationships and our ways of being and interacting in the world. They notice who is strong and who is not. They know what they can do with which staff. They notice when we are late or when we are early. They know what is expected to happen and when. There is not much they miss.

Which is why I am always surprised when I hear a staff say something like “Oh, the kids won’t notice” when referring to something like their own feelings being noticed by the youth.

Won’t notice, eh? Ya, and the sun won’t come up, and the tide won’t recede. Ever notice how vigilant you are to small clues when you have done something wrong or inappropriate, and hope no one will notice, that you won’t “get caught”. Well, imagine living your life with that kind of vigilance.

The next time you hear one of your colleagues say “the kids won’t notice”, sit back and watch those kids. And if you pay close enough attention, you will notice the subtle signs that they are noticing, and taking this information in, wondering about how it will affect them.

As you would, if the quality of your experience depended on it.

Thom

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Jack Phelan

Jack Phelan has decided to come on board as a regular columnist for CYC-Online. Now some of you might not notice the difference – Jack has contributed so much to CYC-Net over the years that he already feels like a “regular” to us. A short “search” of CYC-Net will demonstrate that to anyone who is interested.

We are pleased Jack has decided to write a regular column. He brings not only years of practice experience, but a refined way of looking at, and thinking about, our field. His unique perspective, usually expressed succinctly and reflectively, often invites the reader to consider things a little more deeply than we are used to. And we think that’s a good thing. This is serious work that we do, and Jack offers us serious insights.

So, welcome Jack! We are honoured that you will be appearing here regularly. We think the field will benefit.
And for those of you who are curious here are a few links to some of Jack's previous contributions to CYC-Online :

https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online /cycol-1200-phelan.html
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online /cycol-0901-phelan.html
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online /cycol-1101-phelan.html
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online /cycol-0703-relationships.html
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online /cycol-1103-phelan.html
https://www.cyc-net.org/CYC-Online /cycol-0104-phelan.html

Brian and Thom