MISSOURI/ILLINOIS
Foster and adopted children enrich parents' lives
"Every child deserves a safe and happy home," said Melanie Scheetz, executive director of Foster & Adoptive Care Coalition. That's why, with nearly 4,000 children in the St. Louis foster care system and 500 waiting to be adopted, she wants families to know that the tough economic state should not discourage potential adopters or foster parents.
The coalition is a nonprofit agency working to create permanency in foster children's lives by recruiting and supporting foster and adoptive families. In addition to finding homes, it provides support groups for parents and older youth, respite care, educational advocacy and family advocacy free-of-cost.
Although private adoption can cost an estimated $20,000, there is no cost to families to adopt a child from foster care. "Not only is adopting from the foster care system free, it includes ongoing subsidies to help children," said Scheetz. In fact, children in foster care and those adopted can receive state subsidies for living expenses, day care, dental and all other costs associated with medical. Additional assistance is available such as scholarships, federal and state tax credits, and community resources to support families and their children. Foster parents also receive a monthly reimbursement payment to help cover the cost of food, clothing and personal allowance.
In addition to concerns about the cost of adopting a child from the state's foster care network, other misconceptions may be barriers to potential adoptions, such as the challenge of bonding with a child who may have been abused or neglected.
"It's true that 80 percent of foster children have emotional, developmental or behavioral disabilities or developmental delays," Scheetz said. "But children with special needs are often the children who have the greatest need for a loving, stable and nurturing home and will respond to it. That's why the adoption process focuses so heavily on building trust among prospective parents and the children they wish to adopt – and in ensuring expectations are realistic for everyone involved."
All adoptive parents receive training on the dynamics of abuse and neglect, and they have the opportunity to meet with other adoptive parents to learn what they may experience. "Sometimes people think these are problem kids," Sheetz said. "They're not. It's not their fault that they came into care. These are great kids. As a parent who adopted a foster child, I know personally how much they enrich the lives of their parents."
Crossing a racial barrier is another concern of some prospective parents. Those who do, however, make efforts to be sensitive themselves to potential issues and help their child become familiar with their racial heritage.
Ed Carr and his wife, Sandy, are Caucasian parents with two older biological children who adopted a 2-year-old African-American girl 11 years ago. "For us, race was not an issue when deciding to adopt Claire," Carr said. "A kid is a kid. There were many more African-American children than Caucasians needing adoption, and we wanted to meet the greatest need."
"Just do it," he says to parents considering a multiracial adoption. "Sure, bonding is different than with a biological child, but it happens. Do it, but get help and be informed. We read a lot of books and asked for help when we needed it."
Dennis O'Brien
13 July 2010
http://suburbanjournals.stltoday.com/articles/2010/07/13/stcharles/opinion/0714stc-famatters0.txt
