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19 APRIL 2010
NO 1566
Stuck clients
The developmental issues we often see in our youth and families start with the belief that people have only two options: either you are a victimizer or a victim. This eat or be eaten world view usually creates troublesome behaviours. Low attachment ability and a belief that no one is willing to help you are also combined with this ego-centric, unsafe point of view. Consequently, our youth and families live in a world where the only people who seem to be willing to help them are also, apparently, trying to take advantage of them in some fashion. There appears to be no particular reason for anyone to be kind to them without expecting something in return. In essence, then, most of the youth and families referred for CYC interventions do not have the developmental capacity to understand the demonstrations of generosity and caring that they receive, except as some form of paid task that CYC staff members are required to provide. The concepts of caring for and nurturing children are beyond the experiential and cognitive ability of many of our youth and parents to grasp.
Often the youths do not understand why they are being punished or rewarded by the adults around them, except in a very ego-centric manner. They believe that everyone acts entirely out of self-interest (which is logical to them); thus, when an adult punishes them, it is because it gives the adult some satisfaction, even joy. CYC practitioners often look satisfied in the youth's eyes when delivering some "logical consequence" to teach a lesson, and the only logic available to the youth is that the worker enjoys punishing kids. Many youth are stuck in a distorted reality that is limited by their emotional, social, cognitive, and sometimes physical development.
The profound level of this developmental stuckness is neither identified nor appreciated by many helpers. Often we expect that the developmental stage-logic available to us is shared by our charges. When the response to our good intentions is suspicion or resentment, we have a hard time understanding that the other person is being developmentally appropriate in that moment, given their developmental stage. It is only through creating safe relationships in the youth's life-space, and truly understanding the world from the youth's developmental perspective, that strengths and skills become visible. The intrinsic values and strengths of a youth who happens to be functioning at the level of primary developmental stages only become apparent after connecting with this stuckness. Interestingly, as soon as we are able to join in the youth's logic, many new approaches, strategies, and opportunities emerge. Once we break through this barrier to understanding the world view of the youth, we will see myriad lifespace strategies to support change.
The combination of the two dynamics just discussed – survival fears and an inability to reach out for help – dooms people to be stuck fairly permanently and tragically in the lowest developmental stages. Unless they can move forward, slowly approaching the critical line in the sand, they will continue to need intervention and support in their lives. Because we are able to join people where they live developmentally, we can create this growth and change opportunity. The focus on behaviour moves into the background and becomes the landscape that frames the environment. Developmental issues and stages become the highlighted area of attention.
JACK PHELAN
Phelan, J. (2008). Building developmental capacities.
In Bellefeuille, G. and Ricks, F. (Eds.). Standing on the Precipice:
Inquiry into the creative potential of Child and Youth Care practice.
Edmonton, Alberta. MacEwan Press. pp. 74-76.
