"I must have been in denial – I was in denial," says Lynda Kent,
whose daughter developed an eating disorder 15 years ago at the age of
19. "I didn't want to see there was a problem, until her sister made it
very clear that we had a problem."
Lynda says she knew nothing
about eating disorders back then and was slow to pick up on the telltale
signs. Her story is not untypical, as a survey finds one in three adults
could not name any signs of an eating disorder.
The YouGov survey
of 2,108 adults in the UK – to mark Eating Disorders Awareness Week –
also found 79% were unable to name psychological symptoms, such as low
self-esteem or having a distorted perception of weight.
The
eating disorder charity Beat says low awareness of the early signs of
illnesses like anorexia and bulimia is linked to delayed treatment and
increased risk of the illness becoming life-threatening.
Lynda
says the early warning signs are often subtle.
"In the early
days, you don't see all the signs. Some of them can be mood swings – my
daughter became very withdrawn and very quiet. She started to display
signs of avoiding food, avoiding the truth of where she was eating that
food, and lying – so she'd say 'I ate earlier' or 'I'm eating at a
friend's'.
"But it was a very long time before dramatic signs
were being shown. It was her sister who noticed it and spoke up and
said: 'Can't you see what's happening, Mum?'."
What are the signs
to watch out for?
The charity Beat says the main signs to watch
out for are:
Beat chief executive Andrew Radford says the survey findings are
worrying because when early signs are picked up on and sufferers are
treated early, they are more likely to make a sustained recovery.
"If you are worried about a family member, a friend or colleague,
talk to them and encourage them to visit their GP or self-refer to an
eating disorder service."
Lynda says parents and relatives need
to be aware that people with eating disorders can become very secretive
as they try to hide the extent of their problem.
"They become
very clever about not wanting to be found out, a bit like alcoholics, so
they become very clever at manipulating the situation they're in."
She recalls how one time she had left her daughter some chicken in
the fridge and, in an attempt to look like she had eaten it, the
teenager carved the meat off the bone, but threw it over the fence so as
not to be discovered.
"Until you understand eating disorders, you
think it's all about getting them to eat, but it's the mind that needs
attending to. If the mind isn't dealt with, the food won't change,
because it all comes from a place of insecurity and control – food is
the only thing they can control."
Lynda suggests that anyone who
is concerned about a loved one should research the issues thoroughly and
get help as soon as possible.
"You've got to get on to it fairly
fast – the longer you have it, the worse it is to deal with. Early
intervention is absolutely key. If you can get treatment early, you can
nip it in the bud earlier. But they have got to be in a place where they
want help," she adds.
Despite more than 10 years of battling
anorexia, the story of Lynda and her daughter does have a happy ending.
After private treatment in the US, her daughter's health has been stable
for the past five years and she is working as a producer for the BBC.
"I'm full of hope," says Lynda, "if I think back five-and-a-half
years, I was very worried that I might not see my daughter alive again.
If someone as poorly as she was can pull through, there's hope. But it
takes a lot of love, care and devotion, but there is hope."
By
Katherine Sellgren
26 February 2018
22 February 2018